From Grief We grew (Only On Wattpad)

Chapter 32 Teagan

"Sometimes I see him, Ya know... I don't know if it is imagination or what. But he's there." I look at him to see if he is surprised. Nothing. "Like not all the time. Sometimes. Like that day when we were swimming in the river. I'm not going crazy I swear. It was him..."
 
   "I know. I know it was him," he simply says.
 
   "Y-you see him too, don't you?" I ask as my heart warms, glad that he understands.
 
   I never dared tell anyone else this because they would blame it on my grief. I want to believe it is him. I really do.
 
   "I do. He even talks to me sometimes. Although some days it seems like my conscious but I swear it is him." He smiles. "He was there even on Sunday."
 
   I feel a tad bit jealous that Zayden talks to him. But knowing that he's reaching out to us, makes me happy.
 
   Hayden places his hand on mine. "When I said he knows you loved him. I wasn't lying. He's here. He never left. You just need to let yourself be happy T. Like that day you were swimming and he showed up. Be happy please."
 
   I nod. "I will."
 
   I don't wake Hayden when we stop at our destination knowing that there is a chance we will have to skip it. I take the envelope and find two tickets in it. I read the card: Your reservation is at 6. Hope you make it by then. I place the envelope with the tickets, back in the box finding no use for it. I get down and cross the road.
 
   A big wall with grass over it stops me. There are two big gates on either end and in the center, there is a small ticket booth. I notice the words The Lost Maze done with roses. I walk up to the booth and the ginger inside looks at me. "Uhm I would like two tickets please," I say as I place my hand in my pocket.
 
   "Sorry, but bookings are usually done in advance. We don't sell tickets here but rather verify them," he explains.
 
   "We are only two of us. I'm sure you can make an exception," another voice says from behind. I see Hayden step forward.
 
   "Sorry, but we are fully booked."
 
   "Uhm okay what about tomorrow or the day after that?"
 
   "Let me check." The guy scrolls through the computer and then shakes his head. "We are booked this whole week. Sorry."
 
   "Next week?"
 
   "We're closed due to some concentrations," the guy replies and Hayden groans.
 
   Hayden then grabs a notepad from his bag, scribbles something on it and gives the ginger the piece of paper. "This is my number. If anyone cancels please let me know." The ginger nods and takes the paper.
 
   Hayden and I agree to go to the next destination. "Wag and tag," Hayden reads looking at the envelope. "This one is labelled with a name. Good."  I look outside trying to find the shop and then I see it. It's a pet café.
 
   "Teagan I think you are getting a dog." My head snaps in his direction. "What!" I see him holding out a pink form. "This is an adoption certificate for a dog. For the owner's name, it has your name written down."
 
   "It has been a year though...." I whisper. I look back at the shop as my eyes weld with tears. "We are late to everything..."
 
   "Hey." He places his hand on my shoulder. "Let's not lose hope. Maybe the dog is still there. Let's go see."
 
   I just want to go home though... I can't stand there explaining Zayden's death over and over to everyone. He's my secret. Plus I already know the chances of meeting that dog are very slim so I shake my head. "I can't," I whisper. Tears roll down my cheeks and Hayden squeezes my shoulder. "Okay, I'll go in and check it out. Will you be okay by yourself?" I nod.
 
   I'm starting to think going on this trip was a bad idea... he's not there. He's not waiting for us. None of the things he planned waited for us (except a few) everything and everyone just moved on without him. Without us. How? How is that possible? I can't –
 
  My phone beeps and Lucah's name comes on the screen. I miss you. I hesitate. You need a distraction girl. Text him. "You just need to let yourself be happy T," my conscience mixes with Hayden's voice.
   I give in and text him back. I do too terribly. It's true. Lucah didn't turn up because he was sick. So I couldn't meet him after college.
 
Lucah:
Why don't you come over then?
 
Me:
I'm out with Hayden.
I'll call you when I get home.
 
Lucah:
Oh...
 
    Sensing jealousy I quickly reply: Wish you were here. He replies back with a monkey closing its eyes emoji and a heart emoji.
 
   "What took you so long?" I ask when Hayden returned after nearly 30 minutes.
 
   "Kid wouldn't give me answers," he muttered as he clenched and unclenched his fingers.
 
   "Hayden what happened inside?" I ask fearing he might have hit someone.
 
   "Here." he hands me a paper, ignoring my question. "I got the name and number of the dog owner. Call them and get their address."
 
   "Hayden, how the heck did you manage to get this?" I ask looking at him in disbelief.
 
   "T just call the guy will ya? I'm going to get myself some coffee." He didn't wait for me to reply. He got down and walked away.
 
   Paul. I read the name as I dialed his number. I placed it to my ears as several rings went. What do I say? "Hello?" shit. Shit. What should I say? "Hello? Can you hear me? Hello?"
 
   "Is this Paul?" I ask.
 
   I hear barking in the background. "Yes. Who is this?"
 
   "Uhm I-"
 
   "Gimme a second," he says. I'm about to disconnect the call in panic when his voice stops me. "Lassie! Lassie shush girl. Jesus, it's just cobweb." No way! Then he utters his name as if answering my question. "Lucah! Lucah get that cobweb off the wall. Lassie is going nuts." It's someone else. It can't be him. This can't- "Ugh can't you let me sleep." That voice... No...
 
   "Hello, this is Paul. Who-" I end the call. I don't wait for him to finish. I pinch my hand to make sure I'm not dreaming. It can be any Lucah right? But that voice... I know his voice. Out of all the people it had to be him-
 
   Hayden opens the car door and gets in. He gives me a box. "Here I got you some butter tarts. I know they are your favourite. Soooo Did you get the address?" I nod. "Cool let's go."
 
   I hesitate.
 
   "T?"
 
   "Hayden I have to go somewhere." He opens his mouth but I don't let him talk. "You are tired. You go home and rest. I need to do this... I need to go there on my own. I'll tell you everything when I get back. I promise."
 
   He takes a moment but then nods. "Okay at least let me drop you."
 
   I shake my head. "I'll take a taxi. You go home."
 
   I look at the form in my hand. Breed: Chihuahua.  I notice something else written behind in cursive when I fold the certificate. I know Tusha Ma will be mad. But you should meet this gal. I think she might be an artist at heart. When I first saw her, she wouldn't leave my bag. She kept sniffing it and licking at the painting I made on it. That's when I thought She'd be the perfect gift for you. She can be your apprentice T. I'll help you look after her don't worry. I'll talk to Tusha Ma.
 
   I didn't even realize I was crying until tears fell on the sheet. I felt a mix of emotions. I didn't know if I should be sad that I didn't get the dog or happy that Lucah has it. Or to be sad that I'll never be able to bring up the dog with Zay. I also feel angry that life ripped out what Zay loved and now Lucah gets to have it. "Don't be selfish big T" my conscience, it sounds like Zayden's suddenly.... I immediately feel bad for feeling angry.
 
   Lucah opens the door and his lips curl into a smile. The sight of him knocks the air out of my system. He stands in front of me shirtless. My eyes wander over his chest until he speaks. "Couldn't resist seeing me uh?"
 
   I roll my eyes and smack his chest. I feel my cheeks heat up, so I quickly push past him and walk instead. Then I see her. She comes running to me. I get on my knees, dropping my things to the floor. I carry her and lift her. She wiggles her paws and I hug her gently to my chest. My eyes weld up with tears again.
 
   "Aww, both my favourite ladies are bonding."
 
   I blink the tears away and stand up. I grab the box with tarts and give it to Lucah. "I hope you like butter tarts."
 
   "Fu*k! Big T, I was craving something sweet not too long ago." He opens the box and wastes no time devouring them. I chuckle and turn my focus back on Lassie. "Want?" I hear him ask. I shake my head. I go sit on the couch and keep Lassie on my lap. Lucah plops beside me.
 
   I keep patting the dog's head and it nuzzled into my hand. You met Zay, didn't you? For some reason, she barks, making me smile. A tear rolls down my cheeks. I'm sure you are happy here. She licks my hand in response. I look at Lucah who is busy licking his fingers. I'm happy here too.