Zayden is dead and the world isn't the same without him.
Two grieving souls but they aren't the only ones broken.
One shuts everyone out in the name of grief.
One hides behind a smile.
Teagan and Hayden try to avoid each other after the death...
I knock on her front door but find no response. Instead my phone pings with a text. Come to the garage. I start walking to the garage when a yellow light strikes on me. I lift my head and notice a drone over my head. It has a flashlight taped to it that’s covered in yellow glass paper. I chuckle and wave at it. It follows me into the garage. What I see surprises me. “Wow.”
Her garage no longer has tools hanging around. Instead, there are fairy lights hung around with pictures on the wall. On my right, Teagan stands on a blanket holding a bouquet. Seeing me, she walks over and hands me the bouquet. There are 3 colours of tulips in the bouquet: Purple, red and white. 3 of each. Surrounding them are tiny white flowers. “What are these?” I ask while brushing my fingers over the white ones. I sniff the bouquet. “Mm lovely.”
“Baby breaths. It symbolizes the rekindling of a relationship. The white tulip is for forgiveness and the red and purple stand for undying eternal love,” she explains.
“Are you trying to confess your undying love for me, T-rex?” I tease smirking.
She rolls her eyes. “Shhh don’t jinx it. Let’s sit down.” I nod and we both sit on the blanket with our shoulders brushing each other. I notice a small projector in front of us. Wait. Did she- Music starts to play as I see a video of a Teagan painting on a canvas. “You kiss my scars down the center of my left wrist, never knew how much I needed it” a voice sings in the background. In the video, Teagan is wearing my shirt from last night. Did she do all this today?
“What are you painting?” I ask.
“Shh and watch,” she silences me, which only makes me chuckle. The video then blurs out and pictures of us start showing up on the wall. One by one they flip like a page. “Here comes a crisis. Cross out my eyelids barely alive it’s true, the only thing keeping me out of the grave is you.” The words of the song come as subtitles below. I carefully read every word, letting them sink in. I take a glance at her. I catch her staring at me and she quickly looks away. I move my hand and place it over hers as I continue to watch.
A video of us together at the karaoke bar plays next and I grin seeing it. Then a picture of me sleeping comes on. I look at her and she giggles. Then the wall goes blank as the lyrics move up the screen. "I feel better when my lips on your mouth, let me keep em on your mouth." Slowly, the words and the music fade out. Teagan nudges me and hands me something thin, which is gift-wrapped. Upon taking it, I realize it must be the canvas from earlier. A3 size. I quickly rip the paper, eager to see what she had painted.
On the canvas, a boy and girl kiss passionately. The girl has blonde hair. Up until her neck, her body is painted black like a void and her bones can be seen. Her face is the only thing with flesh. Her arms are around the guy's neck whose back is covered with grass and flowers. From him, different vines emerge and wrap around her. Some even pass into her wrapping around her heart, which glows by his touch. It’s raining in the background but they don't seem bothered. In the right-up corner, a poem is written. Six feet in so deep Barely able to breathe But then you kissed me Breathing life into me.
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A drop of water falls on the canvas, making me realise how emotional I'm feeling right now. I look at her and whisper, “It is beautiful.” She nods and stands up. I neatly lay the canvas on the blanket and follow her. She gestures for me to see the pictures on the wall. I look at the first one, which is a sketch of the river Thames. Beside it, another poem is written: A river shelters plants. A river can shelter life. A river can even shelter rocks That fall by. But who knew A river could be a habitat of memories. Every kiss they share, Every action and movement She watched them And held the stories of many. The love that’s in the air, The sound of laughter It soaks into her. She holds the memories dearly Just like she protects the life in her. Every time I look back She gently plays them Like a sweet melody Reminding me of all the times I’ve spent with you. “Most of these were done last week,” she tells me. I continue to go through the drawings on the wall. There’s one only of my eyes with the words: You drew me close and I drowned right in. An ocean that kept my sorrows at bay. You took my pain and like the tide, it slipped away. I smile, reading it. There are some abstract pictures of two people dancing and hugging done in charcoal. Then a drawing of two hands holding also done in charcoal. A red ribbon-like thing swirls around their hands. Below it, a poem is written on a blank sheet.
Who is a soulmate? A match made in heaven? A missing piece to your puzzle? A twin flame of your soul? Someone who is your destiny? But then what is destiny? I can’t answer that. But what I do know is No matter how many times I ran I got pulled back into you. No matter how badly I wanted to leave I always stayed. No matter how much I wanted to push you away I just couldn’t. The fear in me always cautioned me; Falling in love seemed like a threat, Disloyalty to myself But yet I found myself burning those fears Without even realizing I was making space And letting you take a place in my heart. Some force must have drawn us close. Something powerful Like God? Well, if this is destiny Then I guess we are soulmates. “I usually throw away the poems I write because they are mostly rants of feelings that I discard away but these I managed to keep,” she informs. But I already know this piece of information because I collected some of her discarded works.
I continue looking around and stop at another one with a poem. Two lips, open and ready for a kiss. Beside it, the following words are written: There was a moment before their kiss, When eyes locked together And the girl found herself getting lost in his. She searched for a distraction But then saw his lips, Which led her to have her very first kiss.
I look at her. “I didn’t know I was your first kiss." She doesn't look back at me. Instead, she stares at the drawing as she replies, “Well uhm more like first kiss with a person I love. Zayden was my first kiss. Sorta because we were kids when we kissed. Then I kissed another guy in school to make him jealous. Otherwise, I couldn’t really kiss anyone wholeheartedly because Zayden was the only one I loved until a few months ago.”
“So when you kissed me, was your heart in it?” I ask.
She nods. “Every time.”
“Really?” I ask, smirking. I wrap my hands around her waist as I pull her close. She looks at me blankly for a moment. Then she starts blushing as she whispers the words I've been dying to hear, “Because I love you.”
“What? I didn’t hear it,” I tease.
“I love you!” she exclaims louder.
“Could you say those words again, please?” I grin. She smacks my chest, making me chuckle. “Please! c'mon, I waited so long for them.” I pout.
“I'm sorry I took so long." She pauses, taking a moment to stare at me. "I, Teagan Jones, am absolutely utterly truly in love with you, Lucah Krum!” she yells at the top of her lungs. As the words fall out of her mouth, I grab her face and press my lips onto hers. Our lips start to move in sync, erupting butterflies through my chest that dance to the rhythm of my heartbeat that's strung by her. I lean in more, pulling her close as I slip my tongue into her mouth.
I don’t know how long we stay like that kissing. She is the first one to break the kiss with a big grin plastered on her face. “Let's dance,” she whispers breathlessly. I nod and she taps something on her phone. Sad song by We the Kings starts playing. “I love this song," I tell her as I take her hand in mine and we get in position.
“You and I were like fireworks and symphonies exploding in the sky.”
“So you met Faith and Eugene today-“
“Wait. Let me go first. You deserve an explanation first.”
"Okay, after the song." She nods.
We both sit down once the song is over and I look at her. “Is this about him?” she nods. “Are you sure?” she nods again and says, “I got rid of all his clothes and the drawings, leaving only a few. I think I’m ready to talk about it.”
“Okay. Go ahead.”
She takes a deep breath. “So you already know Zayden is my best friend since a baby. Also, my unrequited love. Our mums were best friends before us and they gave birth together. So even our family is very close. Not Katherine, Katherine is their stepmom. Isolda died when they were 12. Hayden kinda got distant after that and had this rebellious phase. He joined a different crowd. So well, it was mostly Zay and I hanging out. I was closer to him than Hayden.” She pauses and sniffles. I squeeze her hand and kiss it.
“We planned our whole lives together. What we'll do in high school. Where we will go to college. What we'll do after that. Fanshawe was the ultimate goal. Honestly, I think he loved art more than me. For as long as I can remember, he always had something in his hand and would scribble around. I became fascinated seeing him. That was what we had in common, honestly. We were opposites if not. I loved to climb. He was scared of heights. I loved to swim. He hates it. Skating, well, that we agreed on. I was loud and bossy. He was calm and shy. I did sports. He read books a lot more than me. I would get in so much trouble but Zayden always had my back... I-I miss those days.” She wipes her cheeks and I pat her back. She looks at me. “He was the one who named me Big T, you know? He was my smol bean. He wasn’t small but the name came into being because he called me big T,” she chuckles but her smile only lasts for a few seconds. “Then the accident happened. He told me to meet him outside our favourite spot. Brain freeze. H-he was crossing the road when it came- right in front of my eyes- he was in blood.”
She was visibly trembling as she cried. I quickly wrap my arms around her and kiss her head. “You don’t have to-“
She shakes her head and pulls away. She wipes her cheeks. “A truck hit him r-right in front of me.” She holds out her hand like she is holding someone. “In my arms- full blood. He told me he loved me but I didn’t get to say it back.” She buries her face in her hands. “H-he died in my arms and that day haunts me ever since,” she sobs as I pat her back. “I blamed myself. Group sessions were of no use. Nothing was the same without him.”
“Then suddenly I became more like him. Used his perfume and shampoo. I stopped doing the things he was scared of, like climbing and swimming. Art is what he liked. I guess I took my Eulogy too literally.” She chuckles and wipes her tears. “I will live for the two of us I said but I only did it for him. Until you came...”
She looks at me. “Before you, I was in isolation. I pushed everyone away. Even my parents but then you came along and made me long for human company. I tried denying how I felt. I pushed you away but you never gave up. The more I let you in, the more I felt better. The more I became me.” She takes my hand in hers. “It is with you. I feel most myself.”
I smile.
“Before you all I could think of was dea-“ I place my finger on her lips and shake my head. “Don't even utter that word. Don’t even think of it,” I whisper, thinking of how I had almost lost her twice.
She smiles and nods. “Thank you for making Fanshawe bearable. For making me want to live again. Thank you for saving me.”
I pull her into my arms and squeeze her. My arms wrap securely around her, shielding her from the world. “Oh T, you have no clue how much you helped me.”
She lifts her head. “I did.”
Right then, my phone rings. I see Alfonso's name on the screen. I slide my thumb over it and put it on speaker, “Hello?”
“Son, go to the police station. Our plan was successful.”
-------- Note: The first song that Teagan uses in her video is Grave by Nessa Barrett.
