From Grief We grew (Only On Wattpad)

Chapter 27 Bea

I don't dare to meet the eyes of the boy I've grown so fond of. I wanna tell him to stay away and leave because I know he'll hate me after I confess everything but there is this tiny voice in me that wants to take a chance.
 
   "Sooooo..."
 
   I sigh. This is it.
 
   "In 2018 I became pregnant. The father of the child was some I-I loved dearly for 1 and a half years. I trusted him a lot until that moment. He gave me something to drink and slept with me I guess. I-I didn't know I had sex until I found out I was pregnant.” I pause and take a deep breath. “When I told him he swore blind it wasn't his kid and asked me to abort it. That broke my heart. He kinda also disappeared after that. I was so young, barely 18 and pregnant without sight. I was so angry and lost... It made me lose trust.” I pause again. I look at him. He just stares at the sky. No emotions on his face.
 
   “I was going to kill myself when my dad found out and he agreed to raise the child as his own since he and Mira, my stepmother couldn't get a child. Last year few months after Avery was born I had an operation done. My dad spent a lot of money to get me eyes. I was visually impaired just so you know. But hardly a month after my operation, he died due to a heart attack. Mira finally became the evil stepmother and said she had no money since my dad used everything for me so it was my responsibility to go to work. Also for Avery. She agreed to continue being Avery's mother. Well uhm most times until she sees a rich hot guy she likes. Like she did on Monday."
 
   I look at him but still find no expression on his face so I continue,  “I'm really sorry. I understand if you hate me or you are angry at me. That is why I didn't want to get close to you. I tried my best to shut you out but you just wouldn't give up. Then we kissed and I felt everything I didn't want to feel. I-I just have a lot of trust issues so I uhm I lied. Plus knowing Mira liked you I was scared matters could get messy if she knew I liked you. "
 
   "So you like me?" He asks casually like nothing else mattered. I frown but then nod. "Yes," I breath out. “And I understand if you hate me,” I whisper and look at my hands.
 
   "Mmm I like you too. A lot actually.” He finally looks at me. He gets of the swing and stands in front of me. I get of the swing too. He takes my hand in his. "I'm sorry life turned out to be cruel to you. I don't hate you in fact of opposite of that. I don't care you have a child, I still think you're the most beautiful girl I've ever met and I still adore you. I promise you I will never hurt you, Bea."
 
   He places his palms on my cheeks and wipes the tears I never even realise was there. I wrap my arms around him and hug him.
 
   "When did you become a hugger?" He chuckles.
 
   "Since you became mine," I find myself saying.
 
   "Oh now you own me after all this uh?"
 
   I pull away and bit my lip. "I mean Uhm -" I panic. He doesn’t give me time to respond. He kisses me. I feel myself melting into his lips and all my fears just melts away. He wraps his arms around my waist and I hold his neck. The sound of a whistle makes us pull away. “Hey who is there!” someone yells.
 
  Hayden holds my hand and we giggle as we run away. He get into his car and he looks at me. "Wanna go out for dinner?"
 
   "Are you asking me for a date?" I tease.
 
   “Of course I am. I'm very happy so got to celebrate today with my girlfriend." He smirks.
 
   “I wonder who that is,” I mutter and blush. Girlfriend. I repeat it in my head and smile.
 
   “You'll see.”
 
   We go to Hannah's diner's house. Hayden keeps holding my hand and never let’s go. Even over the table. His face suddenly turns serious and he says, "I sucked at drawing just so you know. "
 
   "Well I think you are pretty good," I tell him.
 
   He chuckles making this raspy sound that makes my stomach flip.
 
   "Zayden and Teagan was supposed to go to Fanshaw not me. They were the real pros at art. I had no clue about college so I was just going to play in the band for a year and join some music school. But then the accident happened and I just couldn't play anymore without his support. I couldn't live knowing his dreams wasn't fulfilled. Every time I looked at the empty application form it stung me. So I filled it in and submitted it with Zayden's drawings. I've watched a few art tutorials online but I still suck at it. So I used to submit all of Zayden's work for my assignments until there was none left except the pictures he drew of Teagan and him because he secretly was in love with her but the idiot was too scared to let her know. So I started to summit few of my work which let me tell you is horrible. I failed a few tests and got pinned to Mira. The drawing which you saw on Sunday was his. I forgot to do my assignment so I figured I’ll just turn that in. But then I couldn't since it was something he adored, Teagan. So I drew what I adored the most and turned it in. "
 
  Me. I think smiling brightly.
 
   "I wanna tell you follow your dreams but I'm not the one to talk, Guess we both are doing things that we don't wanna but we're doing it cause it feels right."
 
   He nods and removes his hands from mine. His face saddens suddenly. "I uhm I-" he hesitates.
 
   "What's wrong?"
 
   "My brother left us this map of places for Teagan and I to visit. Then being with her made me feel like my brother never left maybe because she holds so much of memories of him. Yesterday I was so mad at you and I just missed my brother so much I just lost control. I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have but I just- she holds so much-"
 
   "What did you do?" I lean forward. I try playing it cool but mentally I panic pray please don't be sex please don't be sex.
 
   "I kissed her. But it felt wrong. It felt so wrong I thought maybe I'll feel his presence but no I didn't. I shouldn't have, I just missed him. I'm really sorry."
 
   I sigh in relief. But the tad bit of jealousy pokes at me. I try to ignore it. "It's okay."
 
   "He's there when I'm hanging with her because she's my best friend not the girl I like. I swear I never once saw her like that," he rambles. “She's like a sister-“
 
   "It's okay, Hayden. I appreciate your honesty."
 
   He nods and holds my hand again. "I don't like Teagan like I like you."
 
   "I know. I know. I was just scared cause I've seen the way you look at her. Like she's the universe to you but I never really sat and taught until now it's because she is the biggest piece of your brother that you have left."
 
   "You should see the way I look at you," he mutters.
 
   "How do you look at me?" I chuckle.
 
   "Like you are the entire mother earth and all it's beauty. Your green eyes, the way it seems to go deep down like a dense forest. Your brown curly hair like the ripples in the sand carry are your secrets as it grows. Those freckles on your cheeks it's like a constellation of stars and they all seem to say something. Those dimples that pop when you laugh like a flower blooming in the sun. Your lips soft like a fluffy could... home. It's where my lips belong."
 
   My cheeks burn hearing him. Everything word he says multiples the butterflies I feel. It's like a prey of birds and fireworks at the same time. I blush immensely looking at our hands.
 
   "Sir your food." I quickly pull away and I look down in embarrassment.
 
   He drives me home and stops by my street. He leans in and kisses me. I let myself melt on his lips once again. He runs his hand through my hair and I wrap my arms around his neck. Things get heated soon and we are biting, using tongues and I'm on top of him until I accidentally hit the honk. I startle hearing the sound. We both laugh hard as I sit up and set my top.
 
   "Good night Hayden. "
 
   "Good night Bea-u- tiful."
 
   I chuckle as I get down and walk away as butterflies continue to do gymnastics in my stomach and fireworks explode.