From Grief We grew (Only On Wattpad)

Chapter 38 Teagan

“Yes, of course.” I find myself saying but immediately I feel guilty. Then I see a wide grin plastered on his face and I feel bad for thinking about Zayden. I try to keep a neutral face but then like a switch the guilt disappears and I start blushing. I’m his girlfriend. He’s my boyfriend. I walk away to the bathroom not wanting him to see me flustered. I look at myself in the mirror and then I look back at him. I see him fist-bumping the air and I smile. F*ck, he is too precious, I don’t deserve him.
 
   “Wait by the door. I’ll go leave the bike and come,” he tells me as I get off the motorbike. He disappears behind the house leaving me standing in the front yard. I hear a noise and I look at the door. It opens. Uh oh. Here he comes…I wipe my hands on my dress. A muscular Mexican guy, with Tan skin, walks out. His beard is rough and gray. I notice the wrinkles on his skin. He looks a lot older than he does in his interviews. His hair is no longer raven black but black and gray. My heart pounds nervously looking at my idol, my inspiration but most importantly father-like figure of the boy I like.
 
  I make my way to him. “G-Good evening.”
 
   “You must be Teagan.”
 
   I nod vigorously as I grip the strap of my portfolio. He leads the way and I follow behind. I feel something like my feet. Julie barks and jumps in excitement. I chuckle and carry her in my arms. “I see she’s taken a liking to you.” I nod. He leads me into the living room and I sit down opposite him on a chair. Say something T.
 
   “How are you?” I ask trying to play it cool.
 
   “Fairley good.” He doesn’t ask me about myself so there goes that. Uhm what now? “It’s nice to finally meet you,” I tell him and he simply nods. I keep patting Julie trying to ignore the growing anxiety.
 
   “Hey!” Lucah walks in and I sigh. “I see you met my girlfriend already.” Lucah sits beside me and places his hand on my hand that’s resting on the couch. He gives it a reassuring squeeze. Alfonso finally smiles and nods. Alfonso asks him about the bike and they start talking about it. I silently play with Julie.
 
   “Teagan, why don’t you show Alfonso your drawings,” Lucah’s voice startles me. I nod and take both my sketchbooks out. “The black one is my old sketches and the pink I what I’m using now,” I tell him as I hand him the books. I nervously bite my lip as I watch him go through them.
 
   “What happened?” his question makes me frown. I look at him blankly. “These,” he holds out the black leather book. “These are good. But this,” he points at the pink furry one. “Something is missing in it. I don’t see you in this. Something has changed. The emotions aren’t the same.”
 
   My heart sinks in my chest hearing him. Not because he thinks they aren’t good enough but because everything he said is true. He stated the facts without even knowing about Zay. This is why I admire him. I've never paid much attention to my art. Always did it for fun. Zay and I would draw random things and judge and study each other's work. After he died, I didn’t care to do it for myself. Except for the drawings of Zayden. I studied those in great detail because I wanted them to be perfect. Other than that, I never knew I had a significant art style off anything. So I must admit his words are a little surprising also considering my teachers at Fanshawe haven’t pointed out anything yet.
 
   “I’m sure your teachers wouldn’t have said anything that’s because you a fresher,” he says like as if he read my mind. “You’ll hear it soon, find your voice before that.”
 
   “Everyone loses themselves sometimes. She'll figure it out,” Lucah says and squeezes my hand.
 
   “Yes. Yes. Unfortunate events can alter our views sometimes and we can feel lost. It takes time. Just study your old art more.”
 
   I nod and take my books from him. I want to ask him how should I find my voice. How I should find myself. Maybe he can help? No. I'm here for Lucah not me. I won’t make it about me. So I just say, “Thank you. I appreciate your feedback.”
 
   Alfonso nods and then says, “Lucah why don’t you go make us something to eat? Teagan you should stay for dinner.”
 
   “No. No. It’s fine-" I try to say but I’m cut off, “It’s your first time here. Lucah would love if you had dinner with us.”
  
  I look at Lucah. He is already looking at me. I look back at Alfonso and nod. "Okay."