From Grief We grew (Only On Wattpad)

Chapter 7 Teagan

I stare at the blank paper in front of me as I fiddle with a pencil in between my fingers. I look around the room full of students who are waiting for the teacher to arrive. The classroom is noisy and everyone talks to someone. I remain silent at the back with my head bent.

   "Good Morning, I'm sorry for the delay, " he says walking in.

   "I went to get us a model for today's session. This is Lucah, he's doing his final year in Fanshawe."

   I lift my head and see my professor. Then my eyes fall on the guy beside him and my jaw drops. Same black hair, Sapphire eyes... Oh no, not him.

   "Today I will be taking you through realism and how to do live portraits. We'll stick with pencils and pastels today. Tomorrow we'll work with paint mediums. Lucah here will be modelling for us."

   Lucah still hasn't noticed me and I mentally pray it stays that way. I watch as he sits on a bench. He gently unties the robe that he is wearing and it falls leaving him naked in front of the whole class. The only thing covered is his crotch with a silk cloth. I almost gasp as my eyes widen in shock. The professor begins lecturing. Lucah scans the room and his eyes finally fall on me. My heart skips a beat but I don’t look away. I'm too involved in taking details of his Greek-like body. He smirks and that's when it hits me. I quickly bend my head down feeling my cheeks heat up. I try paying attention to the professor but find myself looking up again. He is still watching me. I bend my head and start to follow the professor's instructions. I start sketching Lucah as I mentally picture what I just saw. I look up again but avoid eye contact. I take note of his sharp jawline and the way his adams-apples pop making that area a little pink. The way his collarbone is sculpted perfectly in place. I sketch out his abs and his V-line that leads to his - oh thank God it's covered. I look up and accidentally meet his eyes. Shit! He is still looking. I start blushing and look at my book again.

   "Beautiful, Teagan! Beautiful! So natural! I love it!" The professor comments. I mutter a small thank you without taking my eyes off my drawing. I feel people looking at me. I look up and Lucah smiles at me. My heart skips a beat and I look away. What is he doing to me? I find myself smiling too. Lucah. I let his name finally sink in. A pretty name for a pretty boy.

   Five minutes before the class, Lucah leaves. I sigh in relief and look at the professor who continues talking. Once the bell rings I go to my next class.

   After my last class, I run straight to the washroom feeling uneasy. Once I get in the stall, I find out that mother nature decided to tell me I'm not pregnant. I groan in irritation and mutter a few curse words. My mind starts clouding again and I randomly burst into tears looking at the blood, as if I'm gonna die.

   Ever since Zayden understood about the whole female reproductive system, he started buying me chocolates every month I got my periods. We would watch movies and do stuff I liked so I won't be moody. Guess I have to deal with it alone once again like I've been doing for the past year cause Zayden isn't coming back.

   "F#$k womanhood!" I say grabbing some toilet paper and wiping my eyes. I toss the paper in the bin and leave. I drive to the nearest chocolate shop and buy myself a few bars of chocolates before I drive to the graveyard. I sit in front of Zayden's grave and tell him everything that happened today.

   "You're the only person who took my breath away but this boy nearly took my breath and stopped the blood flow inside of me for a moment. I have no clue how but I promise to stay away from him," I tell him and leave a note behind.

Remember those times?
No months
All these months
you'd buy me chocolates.
Remember
how you would stay awake
till I fell asleep when I had cramps?
Sometimes we would just talk
instead of falling asleep.
No matter what I went through
you were there.
Periods...
It might not seem like a big deal
But to me
it's a reminder
that you will never ever be there
to hold me when I need you
ever again
and that hurts.
You are not going to be here
to buy me more chocolates
so I bought you some instead
to tell you I miss you.