From Grief We grew (Only On Wattpad)

Chapter 31 Hayden

Bea and I take a break and walk to Lucah and Teagan who I had invited yesterday to see us perform. Lucas has his arm around Teagan and I shake his free arm. Teagan nods at me and hugs Bea.
 
   "You two were amazing oof," Teagan says.
 
   "Indeed. Such harmony," Lucah agrees.
 
   We thank them and have a little conversation until it's time to go back on stage. I feel the sudden tension when I hold Bea's hand. I look at her and see her looking at Teagan. I tug on her hand and she looks at me. “Time to rock, gorgeous.” She smiles and nods.
 
   After getting in position. I look for Teagan in the crowd as I start singing, "Shut the door, turn the light off. I wanna be with you. I wanna feel your love, I wanna lay beside you like tonight sky." She nuzzled into Lucah's side while looking at me. I see my brother beside them. He gives me a thumbs up. I continue with Bea. “Heart beats harder....”
 
   After our final performance, Jason calls us to his office. Teagan mouths, “We’ll wait outside.” And I nod.
 
   We sit down and Jason looks at us with a stern face. “What do you think about your performance?” he asks. Bea and I exchange looks.
 
   “Uhm I think we did well?” Bea replies sounding unsure.
 
   “You think?” he raises an eyebrow.
 
   “This is a test. Tell him you did great,” Zayden whispers.
 
   “Yes, we sang well. We can still improve but for our second event, I believe we did well,” I admit.
 
   He nods and looks at his phone. Bea reaches for my hand under the table and I hold it. He turns the search and shows us what he was looking at. I see a video of us singing posted on his Instagram page. Oh my gosh.
 
   “How about we sign a contract?”
 
  “What?” this can’t be...
 
   “I want you two to be on our performers' list for the hotel. So if you say yes, we could talk about timings and payment and all.”
 
   I was too much in shock that I couldn’t speak. I thought my music journey was done once Zayden died but here I am.
 
   “So?”
 
  “Yes. Yes. We would love to,” Bea replies.
 
   “Everything alright?” Teagan asked looking at us with concern. I grinned and held both of her hands “Guess what T!!!” I exclaimed. I jumped around happily. She giggled and jumped along. “Whattttt?” she asked.
 
   “Bea and I are going to be performing here every week!”
 
   “Oh my gosh! Oh my-“  she held her mouth and then hugged me. “This is fucking awesome!!!” she then pulled away and hugged Bea. “I'm so proud of you two!”
 
   “Congrats you two,” Lucah shook both our hands.
 
   Teagan stood beside Lucah and held his hand still looking at us as she commented, “Yes, Lucah and I are proud parents. You’ve made us proud.” Her comment caught Lucah off guard and made him stare at her. I chuckled pulling Bea to my side. I say Zayden standing by the wall and smiling as he watched us. Looks like the storm has finally passed.
 
   Bea didn’t talk on our walk back home. When we reached, I stopped the car and place my hand on her thighs. “What's up?” she shook her head. “Tell me.”
 
   “It's stupid. I'm fine.” She bent her head staring at her hands.
 
   “Tell me please,” I beg.
 
   She sighs. “I know you care about me. I just- sometimes I look at Teagan and feel jealous. I’m sorry I know she is your friend. I-I'm just.... insecure.”  
 
   I place my hand in hers. “Bea... Look at me.” She doesn’t. “Bea please look at me.” She finally does and I see tears in her eyes. My heart sinks seeing her all sad. I get down and go to her. I open the door and ask her to get down. She does and I waste no time in embracing her.
 
   I then cup her cheeks in my hands and talk to her sincerely, “Bea listen to me. When I say you’re the most beautiful person on earth. I am not lying. I wish you can see yourself in my eyes. Teagan is like my sister. I never loved her the way I love you. Like f*ck I don’t think I have loved anyone the way I love you. I adore you, Bea. You’re special to me” She was crying and I shook my head trying to wipe her cheeks. “No. No. Please don’t cry I-“
 
   She clings onto me. “I love you too, Hayden. I love you very very much,” she cries, her face nuzzled into my chest. My heartbeat is unsteady and I know that she feels it because she kisses me right over my heart. I can’t help but blush. You’ll be the death of me Bea Dason...
 
    When I get home I get a text from Teagan: Wish Zayden could have seen you tonight. 😭😭😭😍😍😍 Zay would be so proud.
 
   I want to tell her he was there. That I saw him but instead I reply I miss him too. She reads it and doesn't reply. I put my phone away and go to his room. I open his closet and search for a particular box but I don't find it.
 
   My phone beeps
 
Teagan:
Terribly yes. It's been a while since we hung out. Wanna visit destination7 tomorrow after school?
 
Me:
Sureeee
 
Teagan:
Meet me at McD near the college
 
   I inform Bea about it and continue my search. I go downstairs. I knock on my dad's door and he opens it. I notice my dad, like I actually notice him. We haven’t been able to look at each other properly since the accident until now.... Heavy bags underneath his eyes. His hair is greyer than I last remember. He looks old...
 
   "Uhm son, what's wrong?" I snap out of my thoughts and look behind him. I see Katherine looking at me in concern.
 
   "There was a box with videotapes in Zay's room. Have you seen it?"
 
   He nods and shows me one figure before walking away. I look at Katherine and smile.
 
   "Would you like some juice, honey?"
 
   "That would be nice."
 
    She walks past me and I walk inside. I sit on the bed and watch my dad going through his drawer. He takes out something and hands me a pen drive. "Everything is in this." I nod and stand up. I take a few steps forward but then turn around. He looks at me. When was the last time we hung out? Just me and him? Probably before mum died. After that, it was either him and Zay or all the five of us together. But hanging out was rare because he was always busy after mum died and became busier after Zay died.
 
   "Is there anything else?" He asks.
 
   "Would you like to catch a beer or something? Or watch a street fight or maybe uhm dinner on Sunday maybe?"
 
   I see tears in his eyes as he hysterically nods his head. "Yes, I would love that."
 
   “Cool.”
 
   Katherine walks in. I kiss her cheeks and wish them both good night before going to my room with the glass of juice.  
 
   My dad used to document every event in our lives until Zay and I were 14. After mum died, he couldn’t do it anymore. There are 14 folders, each with our age on it.
 
    I play the first video in the first folder and it's a video of my mum at the hospital. She is holding a baby in her arms and dad is holding the other while they cry and look at us in joy. I hear uncle Dominic speaking from behind. Then the camera turns to Emmet who walks holding Teagan. The whole family rejoices over us and I just watch in awe. I quickly take a picture with my phone when the three of us come into focus and upload it on Instagram with the caption: @zays.art.attacks miss you brother. I also tag Teagan on it.
 
    I come across something interesting when I’m watching the anniversary video of my parents. I pause the video and zoom in to find 4-year-old old Zayden kissing Teagan. How on earth have I never noticed this??! I quickly take a picture and send it to Teagan. Zayden was your first kiss!!! Not Kevin. What the hell???
 
Teagan:
What the- NO WAY!! :O
Did Zay know this?
 
   It takes me a minute but then it hits me. I look up and see him smirk. You mother f-
 
Me:
TEAGAN!
Remember whenever we watched the tapes, we never go beyond age four!
He would make up some reason
Or if we do watch it
he would distract us randomly?
 
Teagan:
Holy cow! Yeah!
Idk what to say!
Wow-
 
    I send her a bind-blowing gif. She asks me if she can have the tapes and I make her copy for her.
 
 
*****
 
I skip the last hour of class and drive to McD. I ended up pulling an all-nighter and now I’m exhausted. I park my car in the driveway and adjust my seat. I know this is the worst possible way to sleep but I have no other choice. I need my power nap.
 
    My eyes shoot open when someone knocks. I look at the ice head girl who looks a lot like my twin sister. If I had one. I open the door while yawning and she gives me a concerned look. "Are you okay? You look really tired.”
 
   “I didn’t sleep much-“
 
   “Well in that case we could go another day,” she tells me.
 
   "I'm fine don't worry. Just let me get my coffee and a snack."
 
   "Where is your car?" I ask as we get in my car.
 
   "Dad dropped me off. Switch seats with me. I know where the place is. You can nap till we get there. We are most likely going to get caught in some traffic. So you have some time.”
 
   I obey and go over to the passenger seat. I take the pen drive from the cabin and give it to her. "Dad put all the videos on a pen drive. I made another copy for you."
 
   "OH! thank you." She takes it and stares at it in silence. I place my hand on hers and squeeze it.
 
   "You were in a thing without even knowing it,” I tease.
 
   She chuckles making a snorty sound as tears roll down her cheeks.
 
   "I can't believe-"
 
   "Me too."
 
   "I'm glad it's him."
 
   "Me too."
 
   She looks up at me. "Uhm can I tell you something weird," she whispers. Could it be...?