From Grief We grew (Only On Wattpad)

Chapter 41 Teagan

My hand moves over the page and rubs the pastels. I smash and press the chalk to the page trying to get the look of his skin right. But for some reason, I can’t get it right. Half of his face is done but the other half refuses to look the same. I throw the book away in irritation and go wash my hands. I look in the mirror. Maybe I should draw something else.
 
   I take the book and start over on a fresh page. The coloured pastels get all over my hands and white shirt. I smear and rub trying to blend it. Erasing small lines for highlights. I hold the book up and look at Lucah. The blue in his eyes looks almost too real. I smile. I take a can of fixative spray and spray it over the page. My phone starts beeping. I wipe my hands with a cloth and take a look at my phone.
 
Are you free?
I’m bored.
I miss you.
Wait I miss you more than I’m bored
Alfonso isn’t at home.
Come over.
Plsssssss
 
 
   I roll my eyes. We only met yesterday. I don’t text him back. I decide to reply to his face. I carefully tear the page from my book and place it in my file. I remove my shirt and pull my favourite kasmeer sweater over my head. I inform my parents and leave.
 
   I’m just about to ring the bell when something touches me. I startle and turn around. I see Lucah with Julie on a leash. “I see that you miss me too.” He smirks.
 
   I roll my eyes. “Balls. I only saw you yesterday. I just came here to see this cutie.” I bend down and pick Julie up. I pet her and she barks. I hear Lucah huff, “I wish I was a dog.” I chuckle and walk into the house behind him. We walk into the living room and he sits opposite me on a chair. He crosses his arms and keeps pouting. I giggle and shake my head as I place Julie down. I walk up to him with my hands on my hips. “What's with all the pouting uh?”
 
    He wraps his arms around me and pulls me onto his lap. I yelp in surprise. “Let me go!” I exclaim, trying to get up but he holds me tight.
 
   “Not until you admit how much you missed me.”
 
   “No way oh zay.”
 
   “Then perish,” he says in a deep voice and starts tickling my sides. I yelp and wiggle more. I squirm and try pushing him away as I laugh. Julie barks and jumps around in excitement.

   I manage to get up and I run. He chases me around the room wiggling his fingers. “You will perish with the tickles! Mwahaha,” he speaks in a dark voice again. Our laughter fills the room as we run around the house.
 
   Somehow I end up being cornered. I pant heavily as I look at him. He wiggles his fingers and grins. “Now you’ll be punished for lying to me.”
 
   “L-lucah. No. Please. Stop.” I place my palms together and beg him, “Have mercy.” I try my best not to laugh. I pout and try to look helpless. Lucah intertwines his fingers with my joined hands. In one swift movement, he lifts my hands and pins them to the wall. He rests his other hand beside my head. “Well well, what do we have here? A damsel in distress?”
 
   My heart stops beating realizing the way he got me pinned to the wall. His free hand moves to my waist and traces my side. I swallow my spit. I have no clue if Lucah even realizes how intimate this is right now. I’m not sure if I want him to stop either. So I just stand there holding eye contact with him. His hands slip under my top and trace my skin. Instead of tickling me, he just caresses my side.
 
   His voice sounds a lot deeper when he speaks. This time it doesn’t seem like he is trying. “You have no clue how much I crave you.” With that, he starts kissing me, letting go of my hand. Both his hands slip under my top and squeeze my waist. I wrap my arms around his neck. His hand moves up my back setting every place he touches on fire. His nails slowly scratch my back as his fingers run down my spine. His lips move away from mine and longer alone my jawline, eventually finding its way to my neck. He bites on a tender spot and I find myself moaning.
 
   His hands move over my stomach inching their way to my chest. His breath fans against my ears making my knees weak. “Can I touch you?”
 
   The old me would have pushed him away. But the me right now is too dazed by him. His cologne intoxicates me and I can barely breathe. But somehow I find myself breathing out an okay and his hands cup my breast. He squeezes and gropes it making me moan. His other hand continues to fondle my skin while his lips suck on my sweet spot. I just hold onto him for support. I feel his teeth against my skin and I close my eyes enduring it.

   I don’t know how long I stand there. I just moan and whimper from his touch. His lips move all over my neck marking it.

   I didn’t dare to pull away until he did. First, he stops kissing my neck. He just keeps his face buried in my neck for a moment. I could feel his warm breath on my skin. My skin tingles and I feel goosebumps. His hands wrap around my waist. I continue to hug him. “Mmm, you smell like lavender today. I love it.” I smile as I mentally make a note to use my old perfume more. “Your hair still smells like chocolate though. Mmm, I like that too.” I want to tell him it’s not my smell. That I borrowed it hoping to find comfort. But did it give me comfort? Temporarily. I inhale his cologne. This. This surely did.
 
   He pulls away and smiles. He opens his mouth to say something but stops. He chuckles. His cheeks are shaded pink. I raise my eyebrow and he shakes his head. “What something to eat or drink?”
 
   “Air and water,” I whisper with a throat dry.
 
   “Huh?”
 
   I blush and push him away. “Get me some water.” He chuckles and walks away. I go back to the couch. I run my fingers over my neck still feeling his lips linger over it. I bite my bottom lip and blush.
 
   “Here.” I give him the file after I gulp the glass of water.
 
   “What is this?” I don’t reply. I just push the file into his hand. He takes it and pulls the paper out. His face lights up and he lets out his famous huff-like chuckle. “You drew me?!” he looks at me and I nod. “I look gorgeous, don’t I?” I roll my eyes. “Cmon. You’re utterly in love with my beauty.” Yes and with you too. I grab the pillow and fling it at him not wanting to answer. He laughs and sits beside me.
 
   “I never really asked but what did Alfonso say about me? Like does he approve of us or did you rebel and come to my house on Friday?” I ask as it suddenly dawns on me.
 
   “He spoke in riddles but he never told me not to see you.”
 
   “Riddles?”
 
   “He told me not to get hurt again.” He pauses. I just look at him blankly. “I used to date this girl. I was stupid to think she loved me. She always found a reason to come visit me when Alfonso was mentoring me. She couldn’t afford to become his mentee. But if she had to ask I would have paid for her. Instead she just... She’d listen to the classes on the pretext of waiting for me. Even tried to talk to Alfonso. He got suspicious and did some digging. Turns out she had a boyfriend...”
 
   I wait for him to continue but he doesn’t. I replay what happened on Friday and it finally makes sense to me. He was just tryna protect Lucah. I place my hand on Lucah's. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to justify myself and seem like I’m trying too hard. I didn’t want to pity him either. He won’t want that. “Foolish her.” He looks at me. “Couldn't see what a great artist you are.”
 
   “You think so?”
 
   I nod. “I’m not saying it for the sake of saying but you are very good. I saw your painting of The Lovers by René Magritte. I could literally feel the veil on me. It was almost perfect just like Magritte's work. Only a great artist can do like that.”
 
   “You saw that!?”  
 
   I nod. I remember my first day of college when I saw his painting of the two lovers covered in white cloth. They are kissing but the veil is a hindrance. I remember how drawn I was by it. I was drawn to him before we even met... Lassie... This drawing. I take my phone and search for the chat with Zayden. I haven’t texted him in a while now since Lucah came along. I finally find it with the picture and show Lucah. “I even took a picture.”
 
   “Fanshawe has some great artists. You should have been one of them,” he reads. It takes me a second to realize he was reading the text attached to the picture. I quickly recoil and off my phone.
 
   I stay silent staring at my phone. Lucah doesn’t ask me anything. He just says, “Thank you. I hope I'll be as good as Alfonso someday.”
 
   “I think you already are.” I look at him and he nods.
 
   “You are too, not that I’ve seen many but I just know you are. I’ve seen how passionate you are.” This makes me feel bad. I’ve never shown him my sketchbooks. Neither has he asked. Only loose sheets that either lay around my room or were on my drawing pad are what he caught glimpses of. He respects my privacy so much but I take advantage of it. I’m too secretive. I look back at the phone and sigh. “My friend he was a very good artist too,” I whisper.
 
   “Oh?”
 
   I nod. “If he got the chance, he would be an excellent student. It’s unfair he never got to live his dream.”
 
   Lucah squeezes my hand. “I’m sorry-“
 
   I shake my head as tears roll down my cheeks. I sniffle. “I-I'll complete what he left behind. I will work hard for both of us. I’ll find myself. I’ll be that excellent student.” I tell this mostly to myself. My voice is barely audible but Lucah must have heard it because what he says next makes my heart warm. “And I’ll be so damn proud.”

   I nod and hug him.