From Grief We grew (Only On Wattpad)

Chapter 47 Teagan

“Can we go inside and talk?” My parents open their mouths to say something so I quickly add, “I’m exhausted. My relationship ended not too long ago. I don’t want to be alone. I need my friends.” Of course, I want to be alone and cry. But I lie just so my parents will agree. Which they do.
 
   They exchange looks and then nod letting us it. “But we three need to talk alone,” My dad says sternly. I sigh and go with my parents to their room. I sit on the bed and they both stand in front of me with their arms crossed.
 
   “Do you know how disappointed Katherine will be if she knows we didn’t listen to her?” my mum asks.
 
   I scoff, “She never listened to Hayden either. Please at least you two hear him out. He is our Hayden. If we don’t stand for him, who will?” My mum looks at my dad. “Does Bea look like a bad person?” I ask.
 
   “I don’t know. I thought she was lovely when I met her. But Katherine said-“
 
   “Katherine didn’t see what we did. Bea was unconscious in her house. That lady hit her and took her baby. You can go check her hand if you don’t believe me. The poor thing woke up crying and wheezing so badly. Hayden says he saw the grave of her dad. This stepmother of hers is on to something. We suspect money might be involved.”
 
   They exchange looks again and then my dad speaks, “Okay. I’ll talk to Hayden tomorrow.” His face softens. “Fiona told us you had a big fight. He saw your drawings of him.”
 
   I bend my head, looking at my hands as I play with my fingers. I nod unable to speak. A soft whimper escapes my lips as I cry, “He is gone, dad. He hates me. He is gone.”  My parents sit on either side of me and pat my back. Through all the sniffles and sobs I manage to narrate what happened. “I-I don’t know how to let go. I want to tell him about Zayden but I feel like I'm not ready yet. I miss him so much. I feel like if I don’t talk about him, he will stay with me forever. In my pain. In my grief. B-but then I won’t have Lucah. I don’t wanna lose Lucah.”
 
   “Baby…” My dad pulls me into her big arms. “Zayden won’t want you to be in pain. I know you are struggling Teagan. We all miss him. It took us some time to be able to carry on with life. Life won’t be the same without him but life has to go on, darling. You can’t keep lingering over the same chapters in your book. You need to let go. You need to turn the page. You just need to take a step towards what waits for you and that is Lucah. He deserves to know, pudding.”
 
   “I-I know.”
 
***
 
I see a silhouette. It’s running towards me. Suddenly something dark whizzes by and the silhouette disappears. I look around desperately running across the road. My feet trip over something and I fall. My body falls on top of someone. I hoist myself up and cry, “Zayden! Oh my Gosh Zayden wake up!” the face is blurry at first. I rub my eyes and gasp in shock. Black locks of curls soak in blood. “L-Lucah?” his Sapphire eyes are looking at me. He opens his mouth to say something but all that escape my lips is noise. I try lifting him. He grabs my hand. “I love you,” he whispers with a soft smile and lets go of my hand as his eyes close.
 
   “No! No! Lucah, wake up, please. Please! I never told you I love you. Please get up.” I clutch his shirt. “Please get up and listen to me. I love you,” I cry bitterly. “Get up please.”
 
   I gasp for air as I sit up. My heart pounds in my chest. Lucah's face is still in my eyes. I look around in horror. I see Bea fast asleep beside me. After arguing for 5 minutes about who will sleep where I finally gave in to the plan of Hayden taking the couch. I look at the time. 3.30.
 
   I get up and go to the window. I stare at the moon as I drink some water. The nightmare flashes through my mind again. I never told him I loved him. Was this a warning? I think back to what my dad said before, “You need to turn the page.”  He’s right. I can’t keep hurting everyone by digging up the past constantly. I need to go forward. I miss Zayden but right now the only thing my heart is yearning for is Lucah. Especially when I look at Bea and Hayden.
 
   I sigh. You gotta find yourself, T. For Lucah. I stare at the bird that sits on my roof while I mentally make plans for the morning. It’s gonna be a long day.
 
*** 
 
Dear Lucah,
 
I promise to explain everything to you soon but for now, this photo is all I can offer. A picture of me, Hayden and His twin brother.
 
Give me a reason to stay you asked and I choked. I had a million reasons like I need you. I want you. You make me happy. You make me alive. I miss you terribly and I’m wearing your sweater right now for your smell. But these reasons that mean one thing aren’t good enough because How can I tell you I love you when I’m still not over the boy in the picture? It’s not fair to you. You deserve better. But as I write this I also realize I don’t want you to be with anyone else. I’m selfish I know. I want you and the memories of him that I cling so dearly to. I can’t have both. I know it.
 
I’m sorry for all the pain I caused. I’m going to try to be better. I won’t try to speak or see you. Not until I’m able to move on to the next chapter of my life. If you’re single then, I hope you’ll give me a second chance.
 
P.s. Since you couldn’t cut the cake yesterday, I brought it by. Cut it with Paul and Haley. I hope you have a decent birthday.
 
Love T-rex
 
   I ring the doorbell twice and then walk away leaving behind a box and an envelope at his door.