Captured By Love

chapter forty-one

"No.."
"No let me.. let me go.."
"No.."
"No..!"

And then you wake up in the middle of the night, your hands shaking like crazy and your heart was beating faster than ever before. You felt dizzy, exhausted and tired. And then you looked at your right, Loki was still sleeping next to you. He had insisted you to stay for a night even though there was now higher risk to you two to get caught.
But you understood him, you would do the same in his situation. And you still didn't even understand how you had got someone like Loki, to love and care about you like that. He acts mean and tough around the others, but you clearly had made a soft spot in him. And you really liked it.

You climbed out of Loki's bed as quietly as possible so you wouldn't wake him up. Then you managed to get yourself into his bathroom without passing out on your way there.
You had no idea why that nightmare had affected you that badly, it never had done that before. And it couldn't be even possible since Loki was almost constantly curing your mind at the moment.
But this time, it had felt more real and your body was responding very differently, and not in a good way. You actually had been a little concerned already but you didn't want to tell about it to Loki yet. Maybe it's just temporary and there was no need to tell about it to anyone.

And after you had managed to take few deep breaths and make your hands stop shaking and your heart stop beating so fast, you opened the bathroom door and peeked out. Loki was still asleep, which was adorable and relieving. That little god has been staying up a lot because of you, and now he deserved some rest. You walked over to him to fix his blanket and then you gave him a quick, light kiss on his cheek before you sneaked out of his room.

Even though you always have had the urge to leave the room after having a nightmare, this time you also had more bigger reasons to leave.

You walked down the stairs to get back to the medical. All you had been thinking about past these two days has been Clint, your best friend. And you wanted to be there for him, beside him.

You owe him that.

"Y/N?" you heard then a soft male voice behind you. You flinched and then turned around, still being little shocked. You hadn't heard Thor at all and sneaking behind your back had got you scared. Like it does more often nowadays.
"What are you doing here, you should rest." Thor asked. You saw the concern in his eyes but you knew he was trying his best to hide it.
"I really need to see him.." you mumbled and looked around you, just in case that there would be another coming surprises. Thor looked at you with pitying look on his face, but then he suddenly frowned a bit like he had just seen a ghost.

"Is everything alright little mind reader? You look.. little pale." he asked and tried to come closer but you backed off.
"I'm okay Thor, really." you tried to convince him when you saw that disbelieving look in his eyes. But then he just sighed heavily and rubbed his eyes in return.
"I think you should go to sleep instead." you teased him, guiding the conversation away from you.
"Yeah probably.." Thor chuckled. "Are you gonna be alright?" he added then.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. You, go to sleep now and please don't tell Tony you saw me." you ordered him. You just needed him to leave fast because you felt dizzy and you needed to sit. But you couldn't tell him that since you had already convinced him that you were okay.
"Okay alright then, and I won't... good night little mind reader." he told you gently and with a kind smile on his lips. And that smile made you to smile too. There has always been something special in his smile, it was always so kind and warm.
"Good night Thor." you replied.

And then he (finally) turned around and headed back to his room, and you continued your journey to the medical.
You peeked behind the wall to see if there was anyone in there, and the bad news were that there was. Your father and Steve were having a conversation, but you couldn't hear them properly, so you decided to sneak closer to get inside their minds and hear what they were talking about. You actually hadn't used your abilities for awhile but now was the time to see how they worked these days. You focused on them, as hard as you could, but instead of hearing their thoughts, you started to feel an awful pain in your head and you felt like you were passing out again. You stopped immediately and held your head while you tried to take some support from the wall.

And after a few minutes had passed and the pain had finally disappeared, you were capable to stand properly again.
You still felt a little dizzy, and you were so confused and had no idea why your powers hadn't worked properly. It felt so weird and odd. But then you suddenly needed to hide quickly behind the wall as you heard Tony and Steve walking back to your way.
You waited them to leave and after they gladly hadn't noticed you and walked far enough, you were capable to sneak back into the medical.

You took a seat next to Clint quickly since you still felt like you were gonna collapse if you didn't. You cleared your head a little and then took few deep breaths before turning your gaze back to your best friend.
He was 'sleeping' peacefully and everything seemed to be fine, if you can even call it that. You stroked his hair a little and then just stared into his closed eyes, hoping that he would just 'magically' open them.

"I really miss you, you know that..?" you mumbled softly and turned your eyes at his hand. It wasn't going to move, even though you really hoped it would.
"And I really need you here.. there's literally no one who is gonna do that dumb stuff with me. Like that time when we dyed Bruce's hair or ate  all Thor's favorite foods. They were both so angry after that." you chuckled a little while a single tear dropped down from the corner of your eye on your shirt. "And remember when I forced you to watch all those Twilight movies, and we both realized afterwards how bad they were and we threw them all out of the window? Tony didn't like that at all since he had to pay for the broken window." you added and a smile appeared on your lips. But then you looked back up at Clint and the smile disappeared as fast as it had appeared. You had remembered that he wasn't going to reply, or laugh with you. And it hurt you even more. It felt like there was a void in your heart that no one could fill, not even Loki. You sighed heavily as you squeezed his hand a little, still hoping for a response.

"Y/N?" you heard then a soft voice from the doorway. You lifted your head and saw your little sister Morgan in her pajamas, just standing there all alone.
"Morgan.. what are you doing here this late at night?" you asked concerned as she walked over to you. She looked little sad and tired, and you knew there was something wrong. She usually didn't wake up in the middle of the night without a good reason.

"I saw a.. nightmare." she replied and her eyes started to get watery. You felt bad for her and decided to lift her up to sit on your lap.
"It was just a dream, you're gonna be just fine." you tried to calm her down a little while you stroked her hair.
"But it was so scary.." she replied and leaned her head against your chest, and you pressed your chin against her head.

"I know, but there's nothing you should be scared of..." you told her gently while you laid your eyes on Clint. And then you sighed very heavily."..let me tell you a secret.., I had a nightmare too." you added. Morgan lifted her head back up and frowned a little in confusion.
"Is it why you are here with Clint?" she decided to ask. You were pretty surprised by her question, but she wasn't completely wrong.
"Kind of.. yeah.." you mumbled and gave a little smile to her while you dried the tear on her cheek.
"Will he ever wake up?" Morgan blurted then and turned to look at Clint too. You knew she cared about Clint a lot. And while you were thinking of a good answer, you looked at her and her joyless face. You didn't want to tell her that there was a chance that Clint couldn't make it, she was obviously too young for that. Even you wouldn't have wanted to know.

"Yes, I'm sure he will." you replied and hid the pain in your voice. You noticed how Morgan's eyes started to shine from hope as she turned to look at you.
"And then he can continue with teaching me how to use that bow he gave me!" she exclaimed in excitement and lifted her arms up. You smiled and chuckled a little in reply. She was so vulnerable but sweet, and you wouldn't let anyone to hurt that little girl. She was someone you wish that would never change,

ever.