Somber

Chapter 51: Heartache of the Past.

Dedicated to @BeautifulFreaks1 :)

_____________________________________________

Chapter 51: Heartache of the Past.

Skye's POV

It was such an awful thing for someone to do... and to be honest, my heart was aching for Frederick, because what he had to endure at such a young age was something no child should have to go through, ever. But there was still this part of me that could not condemn Zayn for his past choices. Granted, I couldn't pretend he was a saint, but really, who is? The answer is no one. It would be hypocritical of me to judge him for the things he has done. He must have had his reasons for what he did... maybe not good reasons, but there must have been reasons, nonetheless. Not that any reason could make what he did any less awful.

The whole thing was giving me a headache. Zayn must have noticed something was wrong by my prolonged silence. I had kept quiet after he declared himself a monster. Though I wanted to tell him he wasn't, I couldn't find it in me to actually say it. So I said nothing. And now he was watching me, with sad eyes and awaiting my judgment.

"Why are you telling me this now?" I asked. I had wanted to know about my parents and he had felt the need to tell me about Frederick, surely there was a good reason for that.

"Because," he said, "you need to understand that I'm not generally a good person. I am not always just. I am not always right. Hell, pretty much every decision I have ever made has been the wrong one, and just this once I want to do right by you".

"Maybe your mistakes have to do with not trusting yourself more," I argued.

Zayn shook his head slowly, a small motion of denial. "It is not that simple Skye. I am the Council Leader. I have more duties and responsibilities than I am fit to handle. I didn't want any of it..."

"But you're stuck with it," I finished for him.

He nodded.

"I was never fit to be a leader. My father disagreed, of course, and gave me, his favorite son, the second biggest position in our government. Maybe if I hadn't been thrown and forced into it, I could have made better choices. But I did and I was, and I've done so much wrong, hurt so many people, caused so much suffering and destroyed so many families that otherwise would have never been broken. Skye, I've messed up so horribly and it kills me that I haven't been able to do better," there was so much pain in his eyes and all I yearned was to ease it and make it better. But I knew I couldn't. I couldn't help him unless I understood the depth of his pain, and I knew my parents had something to do with it. They had too, otherwise why would he delay telling me about them?

"Just tell me the truth about them," I spoke softly. Zayn didn't ask who 'them' was. He knew.

Even before he started, my hands began to tremble slightly. I wove my fingers together as I placed my hands on my lap, trying to give myself strength to hear whatever was coming.

There was a brief silence, where the air stood still and I did too. A short sigh later, he spoke.

"Last time we talked about this I told you about the trial and how your father made lots of enemies and left to Greece with my dad to keep you and your mom out of danger. He came back 6 years later and secretly resumed his duties with the council. Well, what came after was only a few years ago, while you were in your teens. Rumors had began spreading about a secret fire warden organization that was planning on going against the council. It was believed to be led by Frederick's father, the Fire Warden leader, who must have been seeking revenge for the death of his eldest son. My father told me I had to intervene. I sent your father to investigate". He paused there.