Somber

Author's Note For New Readers.

I cannot believe I have to write another author's note to address the same thing. It is unbelievable. I have to apologize beforehand because I'm certain there will be swearing and what not because I'm really upset right now. 

So, I always know when someone just started reading this story. I know they are new to it, you wanna know how I know? Because (and it never fails), they reach the last chapter I have posted and what do they do? they tell me to update. I know the ones who have been here long would never do that because they know I've got so much going on and it upsets me when people do it. But new people, they don't know, so they do it. And yeah, I should give them a break, because they don't know any better. But after it keeps happening over and over again, it just pisses me off. And I am very pissed off at the moment. I am not a fucking writing machine. I've got a lot going on in my personal life. I don't have to write this. I don't have an obligation to write this story. I'm not getting paid. I'm doing it because I love to write and I love writing this story. But when people are urging me to write, I don't love it. I hate it. And I hate writing for it. I don't want to hate it. I don't want people to kill my love for what I'm doing here. Writing is the only thing I got. Writing is the only thing that matters to me and the only thing I'm fairly good at. It's my escape from all the shit I have to go through every day. I am sick of people telling me what I have to do. Don't you think that if I could have updated I would have? Doesn't it occur to you that if I haven't updated it's because I haven't been able to write because I'm either fucking busy or too tired from work or because my life is a living hell? I am doing the best I can. I shouldn't have to feel so much stress about writing. I have anxiety problems, I don't need to add to that. This should be fun. It's not fun when people ruin it for me. And I don't even know where I am going with this, I just need to vent. And I guess is also a warning. I have tried to be nice and polite about the issue, but I'm so beyond done. The next person that dares type the word 'update' even if it's a nice sentence with a 'please' in front of it, will receive a response from my part that will surely include the words 'fuck off' in it. That's all I'm going to say about it.

Tomorrow is suppose to be my day off from work, if I don't get called in by my manager. So if that's the case, I will finish writing the chapter that I started writing a few days ago. If I don't update, you can safely assume that I was busy. I don't want to hear any crap about it. For the people that this doesn't apply too, I'm sorry you had to read that. I'm sure you know it's not usual for me, but that's just a sign of how upset I am. Sorry again.