w.y-l.t.f.i-l.w.m | obx cast fan fic (au)

l.w.m - the final chapter: and so it ends

tw: sexual assault

venice.

as we come to the end of our story, it is important you know that...not every story gets a happy ending. not in the real world. not everyone gets to ride off into the sunset, or dance happily as the end credits roll in. in real life, some times things end happily. most of the time, though, things end sadly. messily. abruptly. without warning.

i was living in my self made prison. everyday i had to deal with the lie that i loved drew more the rudy. and even though rudy and i were still pretending to be together for press, it wasn't the same thing as being his.

i stopped eating, i stopped joining the crew when they hung out, i stopped speaking, and i stopped living. i was going through the motions in every sense. and i was beating myself up for acting like this.
drew was an amazing, wonderful guy. and i should be counting my lucky stars i have him in my life. but something kept nagging me in the back in my mind that it wasn't right.

but hurt the most is that they didn't notice. or if they did, they didn't care. of course drew noticed me not hanging out with others and not speaking, but i convinced him i've just been thinking of my parents a lot more lately. i explained that when he asked me why was not eating or talking or interacting with everybody at a group dinner. they all seemed to buy it...well, everybody but you know who.

i could see it on his face. he didn't believe a goddamn word i was saying. i hated that he could read me. so when i excused myself to go to the bathroom shortly after, i wasn't surprised when he showed up there shortly after.

"v, talk to me. what's going on? i know you, so don't try to lie to me." he said, seriously.

"i meant what i said. i didn't lie...really...really." i said.

"who are you trying to convince? you or me?" he responded. i sighed.

"rudy, i don't have the energy to deal with this right now." i responded weakly. i tried to leave but he blocked me.

"yeah, why haven't you been eating?" he asked. i just looked at the ground in response.

"please talk to me. it's been driving me crazy for weeks, wondering why you're upset. i've seem you pull away from the group. can you just tell me?" he pleaded.

i didn't want to. but i haven't written down what i've been feeling, or told anyone. it was driving me up the wall. so finally, i gave in.

"you ever heard the saying, 'be careful at what you're good it because you'll spend the rest of your life doing it'?" i started.

"i'm good at making other people happy. no matter the cost to me..." i continued. he waited in silence, urging me to continue.

"drew loves me. and he's happy with me...but i-..." i cut myself off. i couldn't even say it.

"but he's not the one for you?" he finished.

"i know the feeling." he added. i looked at him, tears in my eyes.

"i try to picture my future with elan. i really, really do. but everything i picture...your face comes to mind." he admitted. tears splashed on my cheeks.

"but we can't be together! don't you get that? if i break this heart one more time, i'll lose him. for good. and i can't-..." i broke down into sobs. he wrapped his arms around me.

"and as much as i despise elan, i know her feelings for you are real and i know what it's like to lose you. and i wouldn't wish that on anyone. not even her." i cried.