w.y-l.t.f.i-l.w.m | obx cast fan fic (au)

w.y - chapter ten: the past passed on

dedicated to the wonderful, beautiful, kind souls who read this book. i love you and wish nothing but the best for you. enjoy :)

"it all started in high school..."

"i was at this party with my friends. we were having a good time and then i went to go get a drink. i asked the bartender to make me a vodka sprite and when i got it, there was this boy a little older than me who had just asked for a beer. he was the perfect stranger. he looked at me like time stopped and it was just us. the way you look at me..." i said, as rudy listened.

"we got to talking, and clicked instantly. one of my friends came up to me and asked me to go to the bathroom with her. so i did, because girl code. so when i came back, i got back to talking with the stranger. i had finished my drink and started feeling weird. he said he'd take me to my airbnb, and that he'd update my friends. we were out of town, so we rented an airbnb for us all. i was a little nervous, this stranger who i just met was gonna take me home. but i felt to bad to care. so we got in his car and drove to the airbnb. i could barely change out of my clothes so he helped. the next thing i remember is waking up with my vagina aching. i was a virgin. well until that point. that's when i got this horrible feeling in my stomach something had happened." i explained. rudy looked shocked and angry at the same time.

"he was still there in the morning, and i was livid. i asked him why the hell he would violate me, and he said that i had ran into the dresser corner and that's why i was sore. my dumbass just willing accepted that, and we went on a couple dates. then we made it offical. i know what you're thinking..." i said.

"you dated your fucking rapist?" rudy asked.

"i had never really been emotionally intelligent. but anyways, it was an abusive relationship. he'd blame me for all of our problems, he'd...he'd hit me. he'd convince me i was too loud and black and that no one but him would love me. but then he'd make me feel like i was floating on air. kinda like the way you make me feel. and that's why i cried today. after i kissed you, i was feeling the same feeling he made me feel. and when i think back to that relationship...all i want to do is bawl my eyes out." i said. i didn't realize i was crying until i felt it splash on me.

rudy looked angry and sad all the same time.

"i'm going to kill that motherfucker if i ever see him." he growled.

"rudy, no. he's not even worth the gum on my shoe." i said.

"look venice, i'll never hurt you. i'll never blame you, and i'll try my hardest to never let you down. the way you make me feel is indescribable. i dream about you every night. i just want to love you the way you deserve." rudy said.

"you don't even understand the way you make me feel. i don't even understand it. but don't we have to be professional? rudy, this is my first real gig." i explained.

"so? this is my first big role, too." rudy said.

"but the fans already love you. they won't replace you or edit you out because you're a fan favorite. i already know since everyone ships jj and kie, the fans will hate me. also, i'm a black woman in a white male dominated industry. i can't mess up. i can't be deemed unprofessional. i-i..." i started to break down. i felt strong and warm hands wrap around me. i could tell it's rudy.

"i just want you to be happy. and if this, whatever we are, not happening makes you happy...then that's what we'll do." he said, his voice full of pain. he walked away, leaving me to sob on my balcony alone. i love you, rudy...