Short Track Lovin' ✅

Chapter 35: The Highs and Lows

Through the whole week, Sarina was quieter than normal – something that bugged Chase. He knew she wasn't one to talk about her feelings much and guarded at times, so it wasn't a surprise. He just wished on some occasions she'd open up to him.

"Everything okay?" He questions as they're packing for the weekend. She just shakes her head yes, double checking her bag. "If something is on your mind, you can talk to me."

"I know; I trust you – completely," she tells him as she looks across the room at him. She didn't want to get into this conversation with him, but knew she couldn't leave it off the table with the weekend ahead. "It's just a couple different thoughts on my mind. Do you ever get the thought that you left something in the rearview and it wouldn't bother you again, but it does?" Chase looks at her puzzled, thinking it over. Based on life experiences, it was hard to relate as he could see where she was going.

"I thought I could be completely over what happened with your brother, but that plagues my paranoia at times. Does that count?" She thinks it over, though rolling her eyes at the same time. Chase's comment proved her point thoroughly and her brother was right. Though it almost made her not want to say anything else moving forward.

"Chris and I got into a discussion about me ignoring the idea of the family reunion and pissing off Bethany a couple weeks ago. He told me that I could change my name and runaway, but it would never leave me." She then sits down on the bed as Chase makes his way around to her side. "I get that you can't choose your parents and what happens around you. I get that decisions were made by my brother and my father that I cannot control. But regardless, they affected me and changed me. I just wish some days that I could look forward without that single thought in the rearview." Chase sits beside her, grabbing her hand with his, wanting to comfort her in the only way he could think of.

"We all wish that there are things we could just make disappear or change. I wish some days that I could've met my cousin Casey. I never got the chance to get to know him, but the stories that I hear from my mom, dad and Ernie are just crazy. There's also some decisions that I've made through the years that I wish I could change – like completely going off on you that nigh-"

"I deserved that, Chase. I wasn't truthful and in the end, you're the one that got hurt." Chase knew she was right, however he could still never blame her for what happened. After all, she had her reasons given the circumstances at play.

"You were afraid, scared; you had lots of emotions and reasons for what you did. Remember, I don't fault you for that. Besides all that, listen, I know your past affects you – it's why you wouldn't let me in at first." She chuckles, remembering how much she forced him to push before a first date. She regretted that now, though, wishing they could have experienced all that time together.

"You were a good help getting ready for Berlin, though." He chuckles, remembering the couple of long nights in her garage helping her with the late model.

"As I recall, you had a decent finish that weekend, too." She shakes her head yes as a smile forms on her face. "We've both heard the saying – what doesn't kill you just makes you stronger. I know you want to pretend some days as if nothing happened and you're all powerful and invincible. However, remember that you're human and you have feelings. It's okay to have regrets, anger, sadness, and whatever else you're feeling. Just know that you can always talk to me about it. And by the way, your past doesn't affect how I see you. I still see you as the wonderful girl that I fell for, despite the desire to beat you so badly. But I also have more respect for you, who you are, and the strength that you have." She smiles as she wraps her arms around, kissing her lips.

"You just know what to say at the right time. Thank you." He gives her a kiss in response before standing up, and going back over to packing.

"Just think – this time next week, we will be headed to Florida together." She smiles, knowing that was a good idea. "I still say you should fly out to California on Saturday with Amy." Sarina knew the offer was very tempting, and considering that her mood was brightened, maybe it was a good idea.