A year as a Narnian || 365 Narnia one shots (Part one)

41: It will get easier

February 10th - Prompt: Anniversary

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Peter paced back and forth in his and his brother's room, every so often running a hand through his hair and sighing in frustration.

He'd been told not to go looking for him, to leave him be to sort out his thoughts, but as the minutes ticked by on that annoying clock, Peter was finding it harder and harder to stay put.

He'd been gone for ages, and Peter regretted ever letting him go off in the first place, but that look in his eyes had persuaded him, after all, he wasn't about to tell Edmund no after the way he was feeling.

"Please let me go Pete..."

Peter swallowed hard, his grip tightening on his brother's arm. "Ed, come on-" He breathed.

"I - I need some space Peter." Edmund whispered. "Please, its too much."

Peter hesitated, staring straight into his brother's eyes, which was clearly a mistake, for a few seconds later he found himself letting go of his brother's arm.

"Thank you." Edmund choked. "And I promise I'm okay, it's just hard at the moment."

And with that he was gone.

This had been hours ago, and Peter didn't know how much longer he could handle not knowing where his brother was when he was in such a state as he had been.

Which is why his head snapped up when the door opened, revealing a very tired, exhausted Edmund, his shoulders hunched and head down as he entered the room, as if hardly daring to look up at Peter.

Peter was silent for a while before taking a deep breath. "It is one o'clock in the morning," He all but spat. "Where the hell have you been?"

Edmund didn't say anything, instead he just wondered over to his bed and lay down, his hand falling to rest on the side of his stomach, fingers clenching the material of his shirt.

Peter stayed where he was, stood in the middle of the room and glared at his brother. "Do you not understand how worried I've been?" He continued. "You've been gone for hours Edmund, I didn't know where you were!"

Still, Edmund said nothing.

"Edmund Alexander Pevensie, look at me right now." Peter said slowly and firmly, putting emphasis on Edmund's name.

But Edmund didn't, he just turned onto his side with his back facing Peter and wrapped his arms around his stomach, drawing his legs up and burying his face in his knees.

Peter frowned. "Edmund." He murmured.

"Please don't be mad."

Peter was startled at the whisper, Edmunds voice braking half way through the sentence.

"I - I'm not mad." Peter choked out after a while, realising he'd upset his brother. "Just worried, is all. You've been gone for hours Ed, it's one o'clock in the morning."

Edmund sniffed, but still didn't turn to face Peter. "I - I needed space and time Peter." He practically whispered in reply. "Today has been hard."

Peter bit back the brotherly instinct to tease that in fact it had been yesterday that had been hard, because it was now technically the next day, and instead sighed. "I know it has." He breathed, wondering over and sitting slowly down on the edge of the bed, not looking at his brother as he continued talking. "But you could think of it another way."

Edmund frowned, slowly turning to finally face his brother. "What do you mean?" He mumbled.

Peter moved his stare to his brother before smiling weakly. "This time a year ago was the day you survived, was the day Jadis died, was the day you smashed her wand?" He said gently.

Edmund swallowed hard. "And the day I nearly lost my life." He choked out.

Peter shook his head. "You don't have to think about it that way." He sighed. "Think about the good rather than the bad."

"That's easier said than done." Edmund nearly snorted.

Peter sighed. "I know it is, trust me I know." He said. "I keep having flashbacks too, all I can see is you - laying on the floor-" Hs stopped, taking a deep, shaky breath. "But I'm trying to think of anything but that, trying to think of the moment you let out that cough, that moment - you - You'll never understand it I guess, but it meant everything to me, and I'm trying to think of that rather than what happened before."

Edmund smiled weakly at him, nodding slowly, before sighing. "Will the anniversary of Beruna always be like this?" He whispered.

Peter shook his head. "It will get easier over time." He reassured his brother, placing a hand on his knee. "I promise."

Edmund smiled again, before shuffling over and burying his face against Peter's leg, taking a deep, shaky breath as he did so. "Thank you, for not coming after me." He murmured. "I just needed some time alone."

Peter chuckled. "It took everything in me to not go look for you trust me." He breathed.

"I know." Edmund sighed, moving to stare up at Peter again. "But thank you."

Peter smiled. "Where did you go?" He teased gently.

Edmund shrugged. "Just for a walk." He breathed.

"A midnight stroll?" Peter murmured.

Edmund nodded. "I guess so." He whispered, before yawning. "I think I'm gonna get - get some sleep."

Peter nodded. "That's probably a good idea." He sighed. "I'll see you in the morning."

Edmund smiled, his eyes already closed. "See you in the morning." He whispered in reply, before turning over and quickly falling into a deep sleep.

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