HYEORAEK

Part 53: Facing Fears

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"I'm sorry," I said softly on Darius before kissing his little hand on his side. I bit my lower lip because I couldn't bear the thought of my brother lying on this bed right now because of me. Suminghot pa uli ako bago ko halikan sa noo ang kapatid ko. I was blaming myself. But I won't be able to move on if I can't even forgive myself. Hindi pa rin mawala-wala sa isipan ko ang pagbagsak ni Darius sa sahig pagkatapos atakihin ng sakit niya. Matagal na siyang hindi inaatake sa puso at ngayon lang ito nangyari kung saan hindi na talaga niya kinaya at bigla na lang nawalan ng malay. And all because of me.

I've been isolated in my room for two days, with Dr. Cruise and Ate Blaire assisting me in coping with my trauma. It's challenging. Oras-oras ay bigla akong nagpapanic at nagwawala kapag naiisip kong baka may kumuha na naman sa akin. I've experienced trouble sleeping again. Pero nanatili sa tabi ko si Dr. Cruise at gaya ng dati ay ginawa niya ang lahat para tulungan akong malabanan ang kondisyon ko. It's takes time and until now that I'm still scared of my surroundings. It's not easy, especially since I'm still afraid of my surroundings. But now that I've realized all of my mistakes, I quickly regret my actions toward the people around me. Lalo na kay Kuya na walang ibang ginawa kundi isipin ang kalagayan ko.

"Get well soon, Darius. I still want to tease you, little brother," paalam ko sa kanya at kahit hindi niya man makita ay ngumiti pa rin ako sa natutulog niyang mukha. My father is right, this battle is solely mine, and my only adversary is myself. Only I, have the ability to overcome this. I'll get over these inner things inside me. I'll promised that to myself.

"A-Alice..." Natigilan ako nang makita ang grupo ng taong inaasahan ko nang makikita ko pagkalabas ko sa kwarto ng kapatid ko. It's Thea and Jean with Drew. I immediately averted my gaze and bit my lower lip.

I took a deep breath before finding the right words to say. "I-I'm sorry," I said, avoiding their gaze. "I-I became rude to all of you the last day we—" I was taken aback when Thea unexpectedly embraced me and cried on my shoulder. Saka lang ako nagkaroon ng lakas ng loob na tignan sila sa mata at hindi ko inaasahan na nakangiti na pala si Drew at Jean sa akin.

"Ayos lang 'yun, ano ka ba! Kami nga dapat ang mag-sorry kasi naging insensitive kami sa 'yo. Hindi man lang namin naisip na may pinagdadaanan ka pala," Thea responded after we had both withdrawn our embraces. She wiped her tears away and smiled at me.

"Tama! Kaya wala ka dapat ihingi ng sorry, no," dagdag ni Drew na nagpagaan sa bigat ng dinadala ko.

"Ano? Group hug?" Thea offer to the four of us and I couldn't help myself to laugh because of her high pitch voice. Mabuti na lang at soundproof ang kwarto ni Darius.

"Group hug!" Drew exclaimed as he wrapped his arm around our shoulders. Jean scolded Thea after she yelled and broke our hugs. I looked around and furrowed my brows.

"Where is Gwyn and A-Ali?" I couldn't help but notice the absence of the two from the group. I even thought Drew wouldn't show up because I remembered his two friends were here right now. Perhaps Ali is also with his friends.

"Si Gwyn andun at sumama kay Kuya Hugo para makita si Timothy. Nakakasawa na raw ang mga mukha namin kaya hindi na rito nakasama," Thea explained. Timothy... I waited for her to say something else, but she was deafeningly silent.

"W-Why?" I inquired.

Drew scratched his hair before grimacing. "Si Ali naman... hindi namin nakita simula pa noong nakaraang araw," he adds, leaving me perplexed.