[Warning/s: Suicide, Depression, self-harm, attempted rape, harassment, do not read if you are uncomfortable.]
—
REN'S POV
I watched my sister's eyes glow with confusion.
Her mind's probably burning with questions right now.
"A-Ano ba'ng sinasabi mo, Ren? Paanong patay ka na— y-you're standing right in front of me, alive and..." nauutal na tanong ni ate.
She couldn't even finish her sentence as it was obvious that she didn't even know what to ask or say anymore.
Hindi n'ya alam kung ano ang unang sasabihin.
"Hindi ako naniniwala—"
"It doesn't matter, maniwala ka man o hindi, it won't change the fact that I... died, I killed myself—"
"Why?!" she shouted.
What does she mean by her question, 'Why'?
"Anong bakit? Bakit ako nagpakamatay?" natatawang tanong ko sa kanya at dahan-dahan ang pagtaas-baba n'ya ng kanyang ulo.
Pinipigilan ko na lang ang mga luha ko.
She started crying, and if she cries, I cry too.
Hindi ko kayang makitang umiiyak si ate.
Lalapitan ko sana ito para yakapin pero nahihiya ako.
After everything she did to me, after all the sacrifices and the efforts, kasinungalingan lang ang nabalik ko sa kanya.
"So, what do you expect? Magiging masaya ako habang ikaw ay nakakulon at pinagbabayaran ang kasalanang nagawa ko?" Hindi ko mapigilan ang mahinang pagtawa habang kinakausap ang kapatid ko.
Tingin n'ya ba ay kalayaan lang ang gusto ko?
Sa tingin n'ya ba ay selfish ako at ang gusto ko ay ako lang ang magkaroon ng Magandang buhay?
Tingin n'ya ba hindi ako nag-aalala sa kanya at hindi ko s'ya mahal?
"Hindi ako physically na nakakulong pero hindi porket na wala ako sa kulangan ay malaya na 'ko. I— I feel like I was locked up. The voices are getting louder, it's getting hard to survive each day knowing that I destroyed your life."
"Paanong patay— paano nangyari 'yon, Ren—"
"You're not even listening." mahinang sambit ko.
Somehow, I never thought that we would up miserable the way we did.
I was around 15 when I killed someone.
I didn't mean to...
F*ck that September.
Malakas ang buhos ng ulan noong gabing iyon at napakalakas ng hangin na halos tinatangay na ang mga marurupok na poste sa labas.
Pinuntahan ko si ate sa Jt. Law school upang sunduin dahil alam kong nakalimutan na naman n'ya ang payong at kapote n'ya, sa sobrang busy n'ya ay nakakalimutan n'ya na rin kumain sa tamang oras, she's older than me, she took good care of me and still doing it until now.
Not because I'm younger means I'm depending everything on her, whatever kind of love it is, it is always give and take.
I'm also doing my best for her, reminding her to eat three times a day, I sometimes cook her breakfast, minsan nga ay hinahatid ko pa ang pagkain sa school n'ya.
10:37 pm ng gabi ako dumating sa paaralan, I took the creepiest hallway around the school dahil ito lang ang daanang hindi madulas sa sapatos ko.
Nakarinig ako ng sigaw ng isang babae at mabilis ko iyong hinanap.
BINABASA MO ANG
GLITCH: Divided Cities
Action"What are those? Zombies?" How fascinating yet concerning it is to find a young kid to ask such an interesting and frightening question. They wouldn't mind it if refers to a certain movie, but a question that relates to reality? Oh, that's sick. "I...
