Am always with you.....

Chapter 9

BEN

I woke up from a short sleep after spending a restless night. Before sleeping, I resolved to myself that I will talk to Zach about this and apologize.

Today is Thursday, 4th November. We are having Diwali vacation from this weekend. It will be a good occasion to resolve this.

I got ready for the day and left the house as usual. I met with friends for lunch and attended the lectures diligently. Zach was normal except for some stares occasionally. The highlight for the day was Nitin's fight with some boys; who were apparently from our school. Krishnaa was supporting him while Isha almost hit her for doing so. I don't know why, but this guy is a trouble magnet. Being rich has never helped him stay away from trouble. The day ended with a scolding from Grammy. Jamey was arguing with her and happened to talk back at her. I stopped the argument and took the beating for him. I don't know why Jamey keeps on rubbing her wrong side.

Tired, I sat in my bedding, ready to sleep. I picked up my phone and opened Instagram. I scrolled through the recent posts: liked some, saved a few and ignored many. Then the devil in me woke up, opened Zach's profile and searched his followers list for Yash's account.

Here it is. Let me check his account.

He has a public account with lots of followers. He has several posts too, on daily basis.

Socially active. So that's how he must have met Zach.

Many of his posts were selfies having lots of likes, clicked in cafes, gym, gardens & of course his college. There was one post that caught my eye: a poem written by him:

My world was in the dark before I met you,

Locked in a place with walls of fear painted with problems,

Looking for a way out, banging on the weak, collapsing walls.

But they say every cloud has a silver lining, mine had too.

This angel was huge and bright, it consumed my heart;

Replacing all the malice with its pure innocence.

I thank the Lord for sending me this miraculous angel;

And angel, do know that I owe you and I love you.

It had thousands of likes and comments. Then I saw Zach was tagged in the post. I didn't know what to feel. I felt relieved and content that Zach had someone to care about him; but felt bad that it was not just me anymore. At the same time, I felt small, that where somebody was busy writing a poem for him, I was busy taking him for granted. Why? Because we humans follow "law of marginal utility". The more we get of a particular thing, the less we want. I threw the phone aside and crept under my quilt. I was angry and agitated- at him, his boyfriend and most importantly at myself. For being over possessive about him.

I need to stop shitting around. This is wrong. He deserves this and more.

Finally, it was weekend: D-Day. Our gang was busy in preparing for Diwali, while me and Zach were helping them. Even my house celebrates Diwali; this year Jamey was the leader. I was responsible for cleaning, he was responsible for all the creative stuff and Grammy, well......was for preparing the delights. She didn't like celebrations, but as a part of the society, she was compelled to follow the customs going around in the society. As for Jamey and me, we love it. I just love the sense Diwali gives me. It brings warmth in this cold season. Every house has at least one 'Diya' lit; be it a small hut or big mansion. Every house seems to be inviting you- first the lightings decorating the balconies & windows pleases your eyes; then the big lantern hung at the door calls you to the house; the rangoli welcomes you and lastly-the sweet and spicy delights hold you from leaving.