Am always with you.....

Chapter 12

ZACH

I skipped a heartbeat when I saw Ben. It was something I was afraid of happening. I tried to cover up the situation, but it seemed that Ben was really pissed off. I was not able to concentrate on my date dur to this accident. Yash was bubbly as he normally is. I felt bad for him, not because he is my boyfriend, but I could see that he is putting lots of efforts in making me happy- cracking jokes, looking out for me and giving me space. But nothing was forming importance to me at the moment. I was thinking about Ben: would he be angry, how should I apologize, how to explain the situation, whether he will believe it. Numerous thoughts formed clouds in my mind. When we left the place, I told Yash that I was not feeling well and escaped. I took a cab and called Ben. He sounded normal when he picked the call; I said a sincere sorry and explained that I couldn't help it. But Ben was just ACTING as if it was ok. But anybody who heard the conversation would able to guess that he was taunting me. I couldn't handle this anymore.

"I'm coming home."

And he didn't even stop me from coming. I am not complaining! Just noting.

I reached his house. The look on his face gave the truth- he was waiting for me to come. To come and apologize. This may seem too filmy; but the fact is- it is not that difficult to guess such things. I went up straight to his room; not sure how to start this. I was annoyed by his behaviour.

Why did he do that? I'm fine if he does shit to me, but why hurt Yash? Ben, you have never acted like this before.

"I thought you were joking when you said you were coming."

I controlled my rising anger. Let's apologize first, that is the reason you left your date.

"I'm sorry, Ben. I know this sounds like an excuse but I really couldn't help it."

"Well.... What's done is done. But just one question, if I had not seen you today, would you have told me about it?"

I was paralyzed by the question. I looked at the floor, trying to get myself together. The question made me feel distant- because it had a voice of unfamiliarity. Because years of friendship were being judged by a simple question. Still, I gave him the best answer I could think of. But he wasn't ready to let it go.

"So, you mean the promise means nothing to you?"

"I didn't mean that, you did."

He sneered on my reply.

"Yeah, right. I was the one who said it didn't matter. Childhood promises should be left in childhood."

I couldn't do anything but glare at him.

"I don't understand you these days. Why do you keep on rubbing the wrong side, Ben?"

And then he said it- the real reason behind all this fuss. What he said made me realize- this is not the Ben I know anymore. I was got so tired that I almost murmured, "So this is it. In the end, I am meant to babysit you, isn't it?"

"You are taking the wrong train, friend."

FRIEND. The word hit me like a blow in chest. JUST FRIEND. In normal circumstances, this word wouldn't have hurt me much: I was used to it. But today, I was so emotionally shaken that I couldn't handle it.

"Yeah, right. FRIEND." I scoffed, "Well, I said it earlier and I'll say it again- I AM SORRY. That was my sincere apology."

I left the way I came. I just wanted to go home and hug my Mum. I hate being a human sometimes. We never feel a single emotion at a time. It bloody must be a chaos of everything! I was tired of dissecting whether I was angry, upset, sad or just fed up. I went back home, found my Mum sitting in the couch and rested my head in her lap. She kept her book aside and stroked my face fondly without a word and I felt myself calming down in the warmth of her lap.