Am always with you.....

Chapter 32

BEN

"Come back, Ben!!"

"What's the matter? Is Grammy not well?"

"Ben....Julie is.....Julie........"

"Jenny Gram, stop crying. What happened? Is Grammy alright? Hello? Please let me talk to her."

"Julie is no more!!"

What?? Did I hear it right?

"What?? I didn't hear you."

"Come back fast, boy!!" She just kept weeping. The words kept ringing in head, as if a hammer had hit my head.

"Hmm, Hmm."

What am I going to do now? Did I really hear it right? Is Grammy.....really no more?

Thoughts were rushing in mind- colliding and creating chaos. I heard someone calling me- Zach. I looked at him, but I didn't know what I wanted to say. He hugged me- and it took just a moment to burst into tears. Why was this happening?? Why at this point of time??

"Are you going to tell me what happened?"

"Grammy.... she..... she left me. She left us. My Grammy is no more." I managed to say this and that's it. I couldn't say anything more; nor did I want to say. Two things kept hammering me- Jamey and the mystery behind Grammy's death.

Why did this happen? She was fine when we left. It was just cold and fever!! I saw the prescription with my own eyes! Was she terminally ill? Why did she not tell me? Why would she hide such a thing?

I wished all this to be a dream- like I would wake up now, and we would get ready to leave for Essel World. But seems like it was real. I had to face this- and I was not ready, not even in my dreams. Losing my parents was hard enough to get over. Most of all, I didn't want Jamey to go through this pain. It was a scar that never heals. I just wanted to hide away, not letting anybody know about this. For a long time, I couldn't think of anything except- 'What now?? What about Jamey?'

I was dragged to the station, and we boarded the train. I wanted to reach home as soon as possible. Everybody kept looking at me in pity- something I hated the most. To avoid this, I told everyone that I was fine, and kept to myself. All this while, Zach was beside me, holding me quietly, passing me some energy to hold myself. That night, I couldn't sleep at all. Whenever I drifted in sleep, one scene kept surfacing- My Mom & Dad's funerals. I was about to face one more. The mere thought kept me awake all night. When we reached home, lots of people had come- Grammy's friends & colleagues, neighbours, Zach's Aunt. The funeral rituals were all prepared for. As we carried out the rituals, I kept thinking about my parents, asking them for strength. I missed them like anything, so much that I wanted to follow Grammy. But that little boy held me back. I had to try, at least for him. With great efforts, I surpassed the time. I just wanted this to end. I wanted to go back to my house and stay there forever with Jamey, away from these people, who came to pity me and my brother. Moni Aunty insisted that we stay with them for few days. I agreed, since Jamey needed somebody other than me, somebody elder.

They gave us their guest room, we gratefully accepted it. Zach wanted to stay with me, but I denied him. I didn't want him to feel pain looking at me. Not that he won't be worried, but watching me would increase it. After he left, I settled on the bed, quietly so as not to disturb Jamey. I took out a letter that Jenny Gram had given me. "Julie asked me give this to you; in case something like this happens. I didn't understand it then, but now I know. She was prepared for this. Oh! my poor Julie!"

I opened it:

"I hope only you find this letter, and no one else, not even Jamey. He would hate me even more then. I hate to tell this even to you, but before you try and find everything, I want to confess, for the last time ever.