Getting back to "Normal" | Rhekker

Chapter 5- Waking up

Ava shifted her fingers lightly, feeling a lump in her throat, as she try to swallow it down she found it remains stationary there. Ava opens her eyes slowly, feeling the crackle as her dried out eyelids open. Trying to take a deep breath she notices the tube in her throat, trying not to panic she tries to keep her breath steady.

Two nurses come running into Ava's room and see her awake. "Dr. Bekker's awake. Page Dr.Rhodes and Mrs. Goodwin" one of them called, out the door.

Oh shit, Connors around

"Okey Dr. Bekker, just take deep breaths for us" they said, pulling the tube out. Taking a deep breath Ava coughs on the sour air, trying to pull a hand in front of her mouth she feels some resistance. Ava eyes fall down to her left wrist and finds a pair of sliver handcuffs around her wrist, trapping her to the bed.

Well, fuck

"Dr. Bekker can you tell us what you last remember?"
"Can you hear us Dr.Bekker?" The ask calmly, Ava offers no response, still in shock about the situation.
"Can you talk?"
"Give her a minute, Goodwin said we need to call PD" one of the nurses reminded them.
The nurses all leave, giving Ava a variety of looks, pity, disgust, confusion, the lost goes one.
Ava heads falls back against her pillow with a thump, her eyes drag around the room as she tries to decipher what floor she's on.
"Green and white walls, bathroom with hole in the door"
"Psychiatric ward" Ava sighed internally.
Her room was empty and grey, she couldn't gather how much time had passed.
"Connor... the OR.....the scalpel. The scalpel" Ava's memories come flooding back to her.
My prefect solution, not so perfect after all
Ava closed her eyes in defeat and tried to slip back into a blissful slumber.

Some time later Ava shifted her neck, sore from having not moved in hours. Opening her eyes she found Connor standing in her doorway, watching her. She meant his eyes for a moment before he slipped out of sight down the corridor, reviling Jay Halstead stood behind him. Ava turned her head from the doorway, even though her knew this was coming.
"Dr. Bekker" Jay greeted her, closing the door behind him.
Ava didn't respond, still looking away. Jay pulled up a chair next to her and Ava finally turned to look at him.
"Can you speak?" Jay asked her.
Ava starred at him, still refusing to answer, trying to gauge what Jay was feeling when he looked at her.
"Have you tried yet?" He asked, pouring a glass of water from a jar on her bedside.
"No" Ava replied quietly. Her throat immediately closed up, sending her into a coughing spree as Jay forced the glass of water into her hand.
Ava took long, slow gulps to try calm her body, knowing how dehydrated it must have been.
"What day is it" she asked horsely, speaking in syllables. Her fingers roam up to the bandage around her throat, she could feel the different layers of gauge and tape that kept her together.
"Wednesday the 16th of October 2019" Jay tells her calmly, still letting no emotion show.
"Three weeks" Ava muttered softly.

"Ava if you would prefer a different detective given our, eh, history, my parter is downstairs. You might be more comfortable speaking with her" Jay whispered to her as to not let the whole ward hear.
Ava shook her head stiffly, "It's fine, Jay"
"Ava what can you tell me about the 25th of September, 2019"
Ava starred at him blankly, knowing very well he knew what had happen. "Are you serious" she asked shortly, coughing again.
"Ava it's just a formality, I need you side of events" Jay told her.
Looking away from him she quickly said, "I tried to take my own life"
"Okey" Jay grimaced in his chair.
"Can you tell me about what happened before you attempted to take your life?" Jay asked, clearing uncomfortable by the question.
"I was in the OR with Dr.Rhodes. We were arguing" Ava exhaled, feeling a lump form in her throat at the memories.
"And what was this argument about?"
"Con- Dr.Rhodes, had accused me of killing his farther" Ava told him, fiddling with the itchy blanket that covered her, the only form of protection she had.
"What's even the point of doing this, everyone's convinced I did it to begin with" Ava exclaimed emotionally.
"Ava no one here is accusing you or thinks you did anything. We just want the full story" Jay told her softly, not wanting to distress her.
"Someone clearly dose, or is this some new fashion accessory for the good of my health" Ava said acerbically, holding up her wrist as far as she could.
"I'm going to give you more time to recover before continuing the interview so you can better articulate what occurred in the OR. I'll be back in a few hours" Jay tells her quickly, before getting up.

Ava drops her head again, tired from even such a short Conversation. Opening her eyes in what only felt like seconds later Ava noticed that the sun had started to retreat, it was past noon. Rolling her head to look out her door Ava jumped at the sight of Connor Rhodes in Jay Halstead chair. Wincing as the handcuffs resisted her sudden jerk, Ava nursed her wrist, feeling fragile under Connors glare.
Connor grabbed Ava wrist from her hand suddenly, causing Ava to resist more, trying to shrink into herself. He slid the cuffs down her arm slightly to inspect her wrist silently, turning it over in her palm he rested his thumb against the network of veins seen in Ava's pale skin. Ava could feel the warmth from his skin before he exhaled suddenly,dropping her wrist to the bed once again. Connor leaned back in his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose, seemingly tried from his interaction.

"Dr. Bekker, I'd like to continue our interview from this morning" Jay said coming into the room. "Oh, Dr. Rhodes, didn't expect to see you here" Jay hadn't noticed him when he entered Ava's room.
"I'd like to sit in on the interview" Connor said, his hand in front of his mouth.
Jay look to Ava who gave him a feeble nod, she felt so small under Connors gaze.
"I've asked Dr. Charles to sit in on this interview in case you have another, episode" Jay told her, nodding to Dr. Charles in the doorway.
"I don't think being pessimistic counts as an episode" Ava said in a raspy tone, Noticing Connor flinch as she spoke.

"Ava Bekker, at any point in your treatment of Cornelius Rhodes would you have needed to prescribe him insulin"
"No" Ava breathed, still feeling Connors eyes burn the side of her head.
"Do you have any knowledge of how the high dose age of insulin made into Mr. Rhodes blood stream?" Jay asked, his eyes flicking between Connor and Ava.
Ava flashed her eyes at Connor before returning them to the foot of the bed, "No"
"Ava stop this, to admitted to me that you killed him in the OR" Connor burst out as everyone turned to him. "You said you did it for me" he said softly, visibly agitated.

"Do you ever think that maybe, in the last fleeting moments of my pathetic life I might have just wanted to get the last word in" Ava said sharply, locking her jaw.
"Ava did you kill or attempt to kill Cornelius Rhodes" Jay asked
Ava learn forward on the bed finally finding her strength. "Do you seriously think I would be so stupid, as to use a traceable substance" she hissed in a low tone.
"Ava you murdered him and try to kill yourself to get out of facing the consequences of your actions" Connors accused her again, emotion building in his eyes.
"Is that what you've been telling yourself? Because I think the empty wine bottle and pills by my bathtub tell a different story. I wanted out long before his autopsy came back" Ava confessed, feeling the emotional strain of this conversation.
Happy to take advantage of the uncomfortable silence in the room, Ava turned to Jay. "Is that all now detective" she asked sharply, with Jay nodding in reply.
"Can I die now?" Ava asked Dr.Charles flatly, "have one decision in my life be mine"

Dr. Charles exhaled noisily, "I think it's best we leave it for today, give Dr. Bekker some time to recover" Daniel told the two men, getting up from his chair.
Ava could still feel Connors burning gaze in the side of her temple, she was paralysed with fear, and shame, afraid to turn and look at him. Connor left suddenly without a further word, and than it was just Ava and Jay.

Jay exhaled noisily, looking at Ava he finally left his emotions show. Shaking his head Jay looked deeply saddened by Ava's confessions.
"I wish you a speedy recovery Ava. I really do" he told her confidently.
Getting up from his chair Jay threw one more look to her, smiling, "I like the flowers, brings a nice pop of colour to the room" he commented before leaving.
Confused by his statement Ava turned her head to look at her bedside table. In a delicate glass vase sat a fresh bouquet of orange chrysanthemums. Ava leaned over to smell them, letting the sent drift into her face and hair.
"My favourites" Ava smiled to herself, stroking the soft petals.
Ava pondered who could have brought the, they were out of season, so it wasn't just some flowers the hospital had sent out of pity. These were hand chosen, by the one person who could have known about Ava's love for chrysanthemums.

Connor