Getting back to "Normal" | Rhekker

Chatpter 9- Ava's apartment

After Connors shift he made his way up to the CT lounge, having purposefully been avoiding seeing Ava's locker. He was thankful to find it was empty when he did go it.
Turning the nob on Ava's locker he put in the code he had long memorised.

13, 24, 35

The lock gave out with a little click. Opening her locker Connor was hit with a wave of unease, it felt wrong doing this, even if Ava knew he was. There wasn't much in her locker, a spare pair of scrubs, several books, a hoodie, a toiletry bag for long shifts and her phone.
Connor couldn't see her keys immediately so he carefully rooted around the locker. Taking out the hoodie he held it in his arms while he looked through the locker. Connor ran his finger tips over Ava's clean scrubs, tracing her name.
"I can't wait to see Ave back in these" Connor thought hopefully.
It hit hims then that even when Ava gets better, she may not wish to stay at Gaffney, or be around him. Brushing the intrusive thoughts away he continued through her locker. Taking out her phone he tried it, but it had died several weeks ago.
Trying the pockets of her hoodie Connors hand finally landed on something hard.
"There they are" Connor pulled out Ava's Audi car key and house keys.
Returning the hoodie to its place, Connor tried to fold it the best he could. He eyes caught onto the toiletry bag off to the side of her locker. He'd already seen most of her locker, and there could be something in there that Ava might like to have, he told himself.

Zipping open the small bag Connor looked it, there was a travel toothbrush, toothpaste, mouthwash makeup and tampons. But what really caught Connors eye was a small vile off to one side. Connor had seen Ava with this several times, dabbing it on her neck and wrists. He knew exactly what it was. Opening the vile with a pop Connor held it under his nose, letting the delicate lilac fill his lungs. A smell that for so many weeks he had missed and longed for. Connor smiled, remembering how that smell was the background for every hug, passionate kiss, cuddle and pillow fight he and Ava had ever had.

A stern "Dr. Rhodes" pulled his action away from the vile.
"Is there a reason you appear to be going through Dr. Bekker's locker. I was not yet informed of her return from South Africa" Dr. Lathem asked, with Larkin stood behind him.
"Oh, yes. Dr. Bekker actually asked me to pick up a few things from her locker that she mistakenly left" Connor said, with some what of a fake confidence. Being aware that he and Latham both knew Ava was much closer to home then South Africa.
"Ah, well send Dr. Bekker my regards, and we look forward to having her back with us" Lathem excused himself with a nod.

Larkin stalked over to Connor, peeking into Ava's open locker. "You really missing your fuck friend so much that you have to go perving in her locker" Larkin goaded him.
Connor slammed the locker shut quickly, not wanting Larkin to see into Ava's private space. Connor left without giving Larkin a second glance.

*

Connor pulled up to Ava's apartment block. Gazing up from the car park he could make out her window, the only apartment with no lights on. It's was quite as he made his way up to her door, not a thought in his head. Connor hadn't been in Ava's apartment since he last checked up on her after her close call when she was cut during surgery. He flicked on the lights and her apartment lit up for the first time in weeks.

Connor had always found Ava's apartment very cosy and warm, but without her in it everything just seemed bleak. Setting his keys and coat down on the counter he made his way deeper into the apartment. It was messer than Ava normally kept it, with a blankets left balled on the sofa, books scattered everywhere and the odd empty mug or wine glass.
Going into her bed room Connor found the bed dishevelled, nothing else in her room seemed to be touched, it was as if Ava just came in every evening and went straight to bed. Passing her desk he did notice one new thing, a grey card with "Happy Birthday to the best surgeon ever" written on it with a cartoon doctor. Connor slid it open with his fingertips.

To Connor,

Happy birthday, you are truly a miracle worker and one of the best surgeons I know, and have had the pleasure of working with.

I'm sorry we couldn't work it out,

Best of wishes,
Ava .B

Connor exhaled lightly, running his finger across her signature he found himself smiling lightly. Going to Ava's closest he pulled out her gym duffel bag.
Apart of him felt wrong for doing this, going through her wardrobe. Connor ran his fingers across the fabric, he could remember how she looked in each of them, and how the fabric felt against him.

After packing serval outfits and a blanket for Ava he turned to face her chest of drawers.
Is it weird to go through her underwear draw? She's going to need some
"It's fine" Connor shook his head, "I've seen her in most of these,"
"and taken them off her" his conscience reminds him.
Connor opened the draw, taking the first few comfortable looking pairs he could find. He took two sports bra that were neatly fold in her draw as well.
Connor took the duffel bag and made his way back to the kitchen. Going through her pantry it was more or less empty, Ava must've done a food shop in the last few weeks. Finding the box he was looking for Connor packed it into her bag. It was a box of herbal tea that Ava often drank when it was to late in the evening to have a coffee.

Turning his back from the pantry something caught Connors eye in the sink. Glistening in the light were thoughts of little shards of glass. In the sink was a shattered wooden picture frame, suspended in it was an imagine of Connor and Ava on one of their first dates. Rescuing the image from the sink Connor washed away the free glass.
He smiled to himself at the memory of that day, how happy they had been together. Seeing Ava's face he suddenly remember something about her statement, leaving her bag on the table Connor went into the bathroom, the door slightly a jar.
Next to the bathtub was an empty bottle of red wine and some silver foil.
"Avery" Connor sighed.

Taking the foil off the tub Connor red the label, over the counter sleeping pills. Taking the packet and wine bottle he return to her bedroom. No longer caring about invading her space, Connor went through her night stand, finding another half empty packet of pills.
Coming back into the kitchen Connor threw the bottle and pills into the bin with a crash. Connor held himself over the bin, looking down onto the pills, wine bottle, and empty carton of milk that should still be in date.
"How could I have missed the signs. How could it have gotten this bad" he shook his head.