Analise
January 28
2:01 pm
There was a quick knock on the room door before it opened and trin walked in wearing sweats and a hoodie. She came over to the bed and laid down on it looking at gio, who was laying up under me, then looked at me
"... I remember when I first found out I was pregnant with melody. I had everybody thinking I was pissed" she started talking
"Cause you were"
"I really wasn't. I was talking shit but deep down, I was happy. I thought I was given a chance to be a mother, to have a close bond with my little mini me and I just knew it was gonna be us against the world. But then she came and she's a daddy's girl. Everywhere Darius goes melody goes. She'll leave me in a heartbeat to be up under her daddy and cries when he leaves. And just like right now, I go a lot of places without my child because she wanna be up under her daddy"
She looked up for a minute then back over at me "and even though I might joke about never having her, sometimes I do feel like I'm a bad mom because I never have my baby"
"Trin you anything but a bad parent"
"Well if you can tell me that, why would you think anything less of yourself"
I sighed "Because maybe I am. Like they said we always going out and shit and my baby only three months old. And I vowed myself I wouldn't be like my sister but look at me"
Trin quickly sat up straight "see now you bout to make me beat yo ass. DON'T even sit here and compare yourself to aubrielle! Aubrielle did not care about her kids. She LEFT. She put everything else before her kids, even a nigga and you know damn well you ain like that so I promise you on my daughter, if I ever hear you say some shit like that again ima fight you"
"Waft you fussing at me for?"
"Because Ana. You been hiding out in this house depressed because you chose to listen to some stupid ass questions about you as a parent by somebody who's child YOU raised."
"You right.. but I do maybe need to spend more time with them"
"How much more time can you spend? You always have gio and Gigi up under you and we have to damn near kidnap them in order for you to let us get them. Don't do that"
I looked down at gio
"Analise it's nothing wrong with you going out every now and then. You owe yourself that break. You helped raise your nieces, Gigi and now gio. Just cause this is your first child that you actually birthed don't mean you don't deserve the break"
"Why do we have to be women?" I randomly asked " we deal with periods, WE get pregnant, WE gotta birth the kids and we sacrifice so much just to feel like shit during times like this because we all hormonal"
"We should've been the men in our relationships" trin said as she looked over at me "but ion know cause I feel like we would've been hoes forreal"
"I believe it. But I bet we would've been fuckin all the bad, big booty bitches"
She nodded and then glanced over at gio "nephew. You gone have to learn to ignore the shit me and yo momma be saying"
"His happy ass probably love hearing our conversations" I fixed his bib and wiped his mouth "ion understand why he so happy"
"I swear cause you was miserable"
"As hell. And the labor part.. I wouldn't even wish that in my worst enemy"
"Well if your worst enemy is in labor I think cps need to be standing right there ready to catch that baby and take it the minute it come out. Cause ain no way in hell Aysia really brought a sex trafficker to her custody battle. For a little girl at that?"
