Flowers Left Behind | Luka x Reader

Chapter 31

Trigger Warning: description/thoughts of self-harm

It's nothing too graphic (in my opinion), but still.

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You had run a great distance from the ship, not stopping when you heard Grace call your name. The way you stormed out had gotten everyone's attention and the fuming anger in your tone when you announced that the collab was canceled had worried them. You had run off before they could even ask for an explanation. Your thoughts were only focused on getting far away from everyone.

But all that running was not doing you any good when you could feel the flowers blooming. The thorns pierced through your lungs in all directions, hitting your other organs, including your heart. Before you knew it, you had fallen to the ground, clenching your chest. A few bystanders quickly surrounded you to make sure you were okay but you shoved away anyone that tried to touch you.

Stop it.

Don't -

Fuck! It hurts.

Leave me alone.

Help me.

Make it go away.

I want it all to go away.

You looked down at your wrist, where the bandages covered your tattoo. That stupid stupid tattoo. You hated looking at it. You hated that it existed. If it weren't for that stupid mark on your skin, you wouldn't be in so much pain. You wouldn't have to feel all this heartbreak and these dumb flowers wouldn't exist.

"Miss, are you okay?" Another bystander walked up to you. You wanted to yell at them because no, you're not okay. Couldn't they see how much pain you're in? Were the flowers you coughed out not obvious enough? But you didn't say any of that because something caught your eye.

The person's keychain was hanging on the side of their belt, jingling as they moved.

A pocket knife was attached right to it.

Without a second's thought, you reached out and snatched the person's keychain, gripping the pocket knife. The blade opened and its tip dipped into your skin. You wanted to. You seriously wanted to. You've thought about it many times before. How it would be like to not have this mark? To not look at it every morning when you wake up. There were days when you wished it was a different image. One that glowed when you bumped into someone in the street and the two of you smiled at each other as you walked side-by-side. Why couldn't it be different?

Hot tears continued to stream down your cheeks. You shoved your arms away from the people who tried to take the knife from you. That only seemed to make you dip the blade more into your skin, pricking it just a little. A small dot of blood appeared in the middle of your tattoo.

Why won't the pain go away?

Why won't everything just go away?

Cutting it off would be better. Because then you'd be free. You'd be able to love who you want. It'll hurt, but only for a bit. What's a little more pain? You pressed the blade more into your skin.

"(y/n)!" Grace appeared in front of you. The moment she saw what you were doing, she grabbed both your wrists and threw the knife to the side. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?!"

You pushed her away. "Go away."

You felt another coughing fit coming.

"No." She grabbed your arms again, pinning them to your side before you could reach out to grab the knife again. Cecil appeared beside her, talking to the group of bystanders. "You can't just run off without explaining anything. Talk to us."