Valkyrie

Chapter One: Season Three

I'm numb. I can't feel a thing. The light of my life has been sucked out of me and I was thrusted into an alter reality that I like to call Hell. My Sigurd is dead. My future husband, the only man I've ever loved, is dead. The mere idea drove me to nearly insanity, but I kept myself together. I needed to.

Sigurd could not have a proper burial, instead we placed him in the ground surrounded by rocks and flowers. His axes were placed across his chest, and somehow a smile was across his face. I could stand seeing him this way, it's almost as if he is sleeping. I couldn't stand, however, my memory flashing all of the good times we've had. Everyday, something new tortures me. Today, I could hear his laugh. I hated the idea I would never hear it again.

I bent down to the grave and placed a small thing of flowers on his chest, just as he did with me for years. His body was cold and hardened.

"I have a secret I must confess to you..." I whimpered to him, "It may not be much of a secret to you, but-" I leaned in and said, "I loved you above all the boys." I came back up and placed two kisses on his eyelids.

"Go to Valhalla and I'll see you soon." "I love you."

King Harald helped me to my feet and brought me back to Ubbe. To say the least, he was not supportive. He kept to himself most of the time. Hvitserk kept to himself as well, through my pain, I checked on him once in a while. Knowing that he lost his little brother. I can only imagine his hidden pain.

We all had one thing in common: We loved Sigurd, and we despised Ivar. I resented him, I hated him. Any amount of love I had for Ivar is gone. It has turned to pure hatred. Ivar sat perfectly still with tears wilting in his eyes. I don't believe he regrets killing Sigurd. I know he wanted him dead, he was jealous of my love for Sigurd. I feared for Ubbe, even though I do not love him the way I love Sigurd, I still feared the idea I'm still married to Ubbe. Something Ivar would never have.

I looked over to Ubbe and he looked back at me. His eyes wandered for a moment.

"Did you ever know?" I asked.

"I figured..." "But I didn't want to admit to myself."

"I want a divorce," I said. Simply as that.

Ubbe sniffled, "Do not do this..." "I do love you..."

"I know, but you also want to possess me," I said. "I think you love me just as a sister, I've seen how you look at Margrette and, you don't look at me like that."

Ubbe embraced me in his arms and gave me a hug. "I do love you, you're right, but not the way a husband loves a wife, you would've been so much happier with Sigurd."

"I loved him!" I sobbed in his arms. "I loved him so much!"

Ubbe gripped me tightly. "He loved you, always remember that!" "Never lose the idea that he loved you!"

Tears from Ubbe fell onto my shoulder. He then buried his face into my shoulder and we both sobbed.

"My baby brother."

--

Things were different between Ubbe and I now. We pressed forward, raiding from town to town. I mourned so deeply for my Sigurd that sometimes I was in a daze. Ubbe would bring me back and gently smile at me. Bjorn decided to go a different path and travel to a place where sand covered endlessly. I pictured Sigurd with Bjorn, picturing him still alive. The hot sun pressed against his milky skin and his eyes glistening in wonder of the treasures the new world offers. It's the only way I can cope.

We stopped in a little field off by a town called York. We've been raiding for months now and I'm slightly growing homesick. I did what I had to do, now I wonder when I'll be returning home. I missed my bed, I miss the sound of the water hitting the coast, and I miss my mama.