Valkyrie

Chapter Eleven: Season Six

Chapter Twelve: Season six

The Gods are weeping today for the great Viking hero that has fallen. Valhalla has fallen silent on the account of my grief. It is not a trumpet moment, it is surely a sad time for everyone. I feel as though if Ivar would’ve died differently the Gods would be rejoicing. Ivar bled to death it seems before succumbing to his illness. His legs were all twisted and broken as the Christians laid him down in a secluded tent. They then covered him with a blanket, so that his wounds would not show. They rested his head gently upward and his body laid flat. They made him look as if he was sleeping. It was the most peaceful I have ever truly seen in Ivar.

The Christians then left me with Ivar to tend to him. Alfred explained to the soldiers how much Ivar meant to me and what he is to me. It filled their hearts with sympathy towards me. They even had sisters of their God come in a place nicely dim lit candles around so that it would not reflect his ice cold, blue skin. 

After thanking the sisters several times in my best English which was mainly nodding with tear filled eyes, I went and sat by Ivar. I caressed his cold skin with the tips of my fingers, holding him, and giving him all my love. They did not remove his armor and I know by now Ivar would be happy to be rid of it after a long day. I sniffled, carefully removing his armor, revealing his deep wounds. Look what they have done to you, my love.

Tears fell more as Ivar’s limp body moved slightly from removing his armor. I put his armor to the side. I plan to polish it later for when he is buried he will be buried like a King. I sat back down and continued to caress his face. It was not a sad or grieving moment because Ivar only looked like he was sleeping. Although, Ivar never looked this peaceful while sleeping. He mostly looked discomforted and unsettled. His lips were chapped and blue, his eyes were recessed and purple. 

I do not think of anything else but me and Ivar at this moment. I find contentment in just sitting here with Ivar in the still quietness. Anything before this point is painful to me to think about. I can’t think about anything that once brought me joy such as Ivar’s smile, happy memories with him, or any happy memories with the boys. The only contentment I get is from certain, small memories of them as children and yet they are so painful to think about. 

My dear Ivar. You swore you would live forever. How I wish I took comfort in that feeling every time you went out onto the field. You were the bravest and noble of them all. My Dregr, my little berserker. My love. I know all of this is my fault. It is my fault. I wanted my freedom all this time, but within all this time, I was already free. You have granted me my freedom way before I even knew it, by you allowing me to be the shield-maiden that you always believed in. If my freedom meant your death then I do not want it. 

Alfred has kept me from seeing Hvitserk. As far as I’m concerned he has been well. That is what I understand from Alfred. I worry for him. Hvitserk is now all I have left. I’m happy though Hvitserk does not have to see Ivar like this, I know it would surely break his heart. If he were to see Ivar’s body like this, he would never recover from seeing it.

I looked up at Ivar as his head began to tilt slightly. Even though his eyes were shut I could feel his eyes staring into me. I stared intensely hoping he would open his eyes. I wouldn’t care if they were the purple and blue shades, I just needed to feel his lips pressed against me, I needed to hear one more time that he loved me. I wanted to feel his tightening embrace so desperately again. 

I sobbed, putting my head in my hands, realizing Ivar is not waking up. He is not coming back. 

“Lord Odin-” I whimpered. “God of wisdom-” “Allfather-” I looked up, “Bring him back, please!” I rested my head on Ivar’s chest and sobbed uncontrollably. A small memory of Ivar riding his wagon with Hvitserk pulling passed my mind and it broke me even more. Happy memories and thoughts are playing tricks with me and bothered me greatly. Loki stilled had some unfinished business with me.