FRAT LINE|Year 2&3-KNJ✔️

++34++

++MALIA++

How could I have let this happen?

How could I have been so stupid?

I wasn't especially careful but I am on birth control. I thought that was all the careful that I needed. I thought that I'd be okay. I thought that that was enough protection.

The percentage is less than one. Does God just hate me or something? He has to. Why does he keep doing this shit to me? Why is it me?! It's always me!!

I can never just catch a fucking break. I can never just have something going for myself and be fine! No. Something always has to fucking cut my happy time short. I can never just be.

I can never just fucking exist. I always have to have asterisks next to my name with fine print.

Every time something good happens, it's either followed by or caused by something fucking ridiculous. Like do I just need to stop doing shit?! Do I need to stop living my life?

School, work, home and that's it? No boyfriend. No friends. No alcohol....

Definitely no fucking alcohol.

Oh my God. What have I done?

I wipe my eyes as I stare at myself in the mirror. This is so fucked up. I don't even look pregnant. I just look like a 5'8 bitch with a little tummy.

13 WEEKS?! THAT'S THREE MONTHS!

I look like I just had a little too much to fucking eat. Not that I'm carrying a BABY! What the hell is wrong with me?

And my body didn't give me any fucking warnings. Like what the fuck is this? A missed period?! Bitches miss their period all the time! Some people don't get it at all!

This is bullshit, if you ask me. Where are the other symptoms? The nausea? The headaches? The implantation bleeding? The cravings?

WHERE ARE THEY?!

"Malia? Honey?" My mother calls as she knocks lightly on the door.

I hurriedly pull my sweatshirt down over my stomach as my head snaps towards the door.

"Huh?"

"Mrs. Kim just texted me. She wants to make sure you're on your way to get Joon soon."

"Uhm.. yeah. I'm coming now. I'm just grabbing my last bag."

"Okay. I'll meet you downstairs then. I made you some brownies and filled you up a big thing of sweet tea to take with you. I know Joon gonna guzzle half of it down, anyway."

"Alright.. thank you."

I listen to her walk back down the stairs before grabbing my bag and putting my moccasins on. They're the only comfortable shoes I own right now.

I walk down the stairs and hug and kiss my parents goodbye. They tell me to call when I get to my apartment and I tell them that I will.

I get in my car and drive down to Namjoon's house. As I wait in the driveway, my heart thuds in my chest. It's beating at its regular interval. Just... loudly.

Namjoon comes out of the house with damp hair and his duffle bag in one hand and Tarrant's kennel in the other. His mother is kissing all over his face and he's cringing and trying to pull away from her.

"I love you."

"I love you, too. Mom, stooppp. You act like you're not gonna see me next month."

"I know I will. But I'll miss you while you're gone. Tell Malia I said hi, and that I love her very much. And to call me, if anything! Either of you."