FRAT LINE|Year 2&3-KNJ✔️

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++NAMJOON++

Every time the guys bring up meeting up with the girls, I want to go to sleep.

Is that valid? I'd rather sleep than look at Malia with somebody else?

I think that Xavier would pop me over the head and either tell me to get my shit together or make me go. Probably both.

Even still... I'm not going. But it's because I have other commitments.

Malia is in a new.... relationship and that shouldn't affect how much that I care about her. It won't. I love her but I can't make her not move on. That's selfish and she'd never do that to me.

That's pretty much my gauging point now. If it's not something she'd do for or to me, I'm not doing it. It's been working so far.

Like now. If the roles were reversed, Malia wouldn't let her own feelings for me affect how she interacts with our friends. She'd be as cordial as possible. Though it may hurt, she'd still support me. So I can only do the same for her.

Contrary to the bitterness I feel, I want her to be happy. That's the thing lately. I've been differentiating whether what I feel is actually what I want...? If that makes sense.

Just because I feel something doesn't necessarily make it the be all and end-all. For example, I feel beyond bitter about Malia possibly dating or talking to Yoongi or whatever the fuck.

Fuck him.

But I know that at the end of the day, as long as she's happy, I can live with that. If this is what'll make her happy, then that's okay. That's all I want is for her to be happy.

And she seems to be so with him. Her smile gives her away every time.

We've been back on campus for two days and every time that I've seen her, she's been smiling. Either with our friends or with him. Those are the only times I see her. She's never by herself anymore. Not even for a walk across the campus.

I had to DM her this morning about a good time to meet up because she's seemed so busy. She hasn't gotten a day of downtime since we got back from the holiday break.

We had to leave for our regional events and then we got back to campus and she immediately had a shoot to do for Nike. The only reason I know about the Nike thing is because of Xavier. And the only reason he knows is because he heard her talking about it on the phone with Janae.

Usually Malia would tell them both but he said that she's been standoffish with him lately. Not ignoring him but not really saying too much to him either.

It's only fueling his anger because that means that Malia knows that Janae is cheating on him. And why the fuck she'd support that is baffling me.

Xavier is losing his mind and she's just watching it happen. She's just standing by like nothing is going on and supporting her best friend in her bullshit.

While she may go for that, I will not. I want to talk to Janae. Like really sit down and talk to this girl. Because I know that she loves Xavier. It's so obvious with everything that they do.

It's vomit inducing.

So the way that she's acting right now isn't making any sense. Really, it isn't adding up.

But that's a conversation to have for another day. Right now, I need to have a conversation with somebody else.

Somebody much less toxic seeming and several years older.