This book contains 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 |18+|
(Editing, which means I plan to rewrite this whole book)
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"But... but why?"
"Because I didn"t want to hurt you even if it meant lying to you more."
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𝐏𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐚 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐫𝐞 has always...
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I use to think there was no way I'll ever bring myself to hurt her.
I was going to tell her, but in reality, I didn't want to. I didn't want the truth to come out. It'll break her it'll destroy her. I want her to know the things I feel for her are real, the thoughts, the ache, and the pains are real. Not just some fucked up fake illusion just to get close to her.
I wish I can go back to take the betrayal look that's on her face. And god I could pay a pretty penny to go back.
Now it's too late she's not looking at me how she use to. It's all replaced by sadness, pain, disgust, shame, anger, and fear.
Out of every look, that is what makes me want to stab myself in the fucking face. I never wanted her to fear me, I'll take my own heart out and give it to her, to show her it belongs to her. That I could never hurt her.
I start moving close to her not too fast to scare her even more. "Omena loo-" Before I could finish she grabs the bracelet tugging it behind her and runs to the other side of the desk. And damn that fucking hurts.
"Who are- what?" She tried talking but breathing unsteadily. "Baby I'm not gonna hurt you, I would never just let me explain." As I try to move closer she grabs the scissors and tries running past me but I grab her wrist throwing it on the floor crossing her hands.
"Stop let me go let m- please. I can't, I can't, I can't." She screams fighting against me. I bring us to the floor wrapping my arms around her. "I'm so sorry, I'm so fucking sorry." I can hear my voice crack. I let her hit me, I let her scream, I let her take it all on me because I did it it's my fault. "Let it out just let it out." I hold her tighter not wanting to let her go.
Not letting the only thing I have go.
Minutes pass by you can only hear the rain outside now. She passed out I look down seeing her sleeping against me. I wipe off the remaining of her tears. I lean in kissing the top of her head not knowing if this will be the last time I do.
This is my fault. She blinks a few times before trying to get out of my arms. "No." She pushes my chest. "No, leave me, leave me." More of her cries.
