Hale Daughter

[32]

Warning: mention of rape

I stayed at the river the whole night. I can't say that I didn't like it. It was the perfect place to stay. I didn't sleep the whole night. I just sit there trying to calm myself down. My phone rings for 13th time since yesterday that Derek left me alone. It's Derek again. I didn't answer his call for 13th time. I then heard footsteps, familiar footsteps, and then a sigh. Derek. I didn't worry about turning around to face him.

"Yn?" I didn't talk. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I didn't mean to yell at you and bring back all the bad memories of yours" I shrug my shoulders as an answer. "Yn, please. I'm really sorry. I didn't want to do this" I shut my eyes close. "I didn't want to hurt you or something. You know that I could never hurt you badly".

"I never talked to you about being raped because I learned not to trust anyone in my life".

"But I'm your cousin".

"I thought he was my cousin too".

"I could never criticize you, Yn. Especially for something so serious".

"But still".

"Still what?".

"Still, you yelled at me for something that I wasn't responsible for. For something that I didn't ask to happen to me. To my body. To that freaking age" he doesn't say anything. "What I said yesterday, I meant it. I remember that I asked you a question but you never answered me. I answered for you".

"What?".

"Why do you have the right to yell at me and anyone in general but I don't? Why do you have the right to fight with everyone but I don't?" he doesn't talk. "Is it because I'm an IED?".

"No".

"Then why?" my voice was low the whole time. If I was talking louder I would be crying at the moment.

"Because ... " he takes his time to answer. "You can't control yourself at all".

"Neither can you. That's not an excuse to use against me. You can't control your nerves and you're always fighting with me about it. Because of your own nerves" he doesn't reply to that. "I didn't ask for it, Derek. I didn't. For anything from all these. I didn't ask to get raped and I definitely didn't ask to get diagnosed with IED in that age. I didn't ask for anything from all these that has happened to my life. Okay? It's not my fault".

"I know".

"Then act like it" he sighs.

We stay in silence. He didn't sit down and I didn't say anything for the rest of the time. After 1 hour he sits down but not next to me. Behind me. He stabilized himself to a tree. I stayed still.