Hale Daughter

[116]

It's 7 am and I have an appointment with my psychologist. It's Sunday but he told me to come. We lost three appointments after all and he wants to see me. When I change clothes, I walk outside but fall up to Eli. When he sees me, he walks near me.

"Where are you going?" he asks me.

"To my psychologist".

"Need a ride? Your dad is inside".

"I'll drive" he stares at me and I sigh. I know that stare. He is scared that I will run away again. "I won't run away. I promise".

"I know" he stares at me and I sigh.

"DAD?" I see Peter walking out of his room and walking near us.

"Yes?".

"Can you give me a ride to my psychologist?".

"Sure. Let's go".

"Thanks" I look at Eli.

"Sorry" Eli says.

"No worries about that. See you later" he nods at me. Peter and I walk out of the house and enter his car. He starts driving.

"Didn't you tell me yesterday night that you will go by yourself?" he asks me.

"Eli is scared that I will run away again" he looks at me and after back to the road. I look out of the window. "He won't trust me again. Right?" I look back at him.

"I don't know" I sigh and look in front. Seconds later we arrive. "Do you want me to wait here for you or you will walk back home?".

"Can I walk?".

"Sure. See you back home".

"Bye".

I get out of his car and he drives away. I sigh and enter the building. I go at Alex's office and enter. When he sees me, he smiles at me and I smile back at him.

"How are you, Yn?".

"I have been a lot better".

"Come on. Let's get inside".

"Okay" we walk into the other room and we both sit down. He looks at me and I look back at him but with hesitation.

"Why are you hesitant? It's not our first appointment".

"Well I hear the same things from everybody since I returned back home and I don't want to listen the same from you too" he stares at me. "I'm tired of that".

"Well I actually wanted to tone out a feeling and not talk that much about you running away. We could get at that at the end" I stare at him. "But if you are not comfortable with talking about that then we can forget about talking about this subject" I softly sigh and shake my head.

"No. I'm ... I'm sorry. I didn't want to react like that".

"Don't worry about that, Yn. It's normal since like you said everybody is asking you about that" I softly nod at me.

"You said something about a feeling. What did you mean?".

"I want we talk a bit about sadness".

"What about it?".

"Parts about the sadness. Let me give you an example. Did you ever hold back tears because you didn't want to seem weak?" I stare at him for a moment as I don't know how I should answer him.

"Umm ... "

"It's a yes or no question, Yn, but you can also talk about it if you want".

"It's ... It's kind of normal for me".

"Normal how?".

"Well, for example, when the whole things with Eli's and my grades happened, I held back my tears in order to not seem weak in front of Eli. I didn't want him to see me crying".

"Did you cry eventually?".

"Yeah. Unfortunately".

"It's not a bad thing to do. It's normal. All of the people cry".

"I don't want to cry in front of people. It makes me feel like they pity me afterwards and I hate that. Like they feel sorry for me about something and ... It's hard. I can't explain it" he nods at me.

"Let me ask you another question, Yn. Did you ever had to wipe your tears before walking through the door?".

"Yes".

"That was quick. Did it happen recently?".

"A couple of weeks ago. Before we take our grades".

"Everything has to do with your grades, Yn?".

"Well after the grades everything became really bad and to be honest I'm tired since then".

"Tired how?".

"Mentally".

"So you say that all of your problems happened because of your grades?".

"Because of ... Because I didn't study hard enough to get better grades".

"You tried your best".

"It looks like I didn't. I disappointed my family".

"Well your family wasn't here since before summer. You went through so much since then and it's normal to be taken back at school".

"Well I should try to become better".

"Do you feel responsible that they yelled at you?".

"They were right".

"They weren't right, Yn. They were wrong. Really wrong" I stare at him. "You went through court, you were ready to get send at jail, you paid for things that you shouldn't have become of the judge, you got played of, people lied to you, sent you death threats and even more. No one should wait from you to get perfect scores at school. It's normal and respected".

"I guess you are right".

Skip time

"Could you come tomorrow with your father? It will be like a group therapy. Let's call it like that for now" I nod at him. "Liam and his dad will be here too. Are you comfortable with that?".

"Yeah".

"Okay. So tomorrow after your school is done?".

"Sure. Sounds good".

"Great".