Hale Daughter

[37]

As I open my eyes I look confused at where I am. I look around me but then I see Derek sitting at a chair next to my bed. I'm at the hospital. When he sees that I'm awake his eyes light up slightly. I turn around and now he is facing my back. I hear him sighing but then I hear the door opening and closing. Familiar scent.

"Did she wake up?" I hear Melissa's voice. I guess Derek nodded because Melissa walked from my side and looked at me. "How are you feeling, Yn?".

"I'm okay" she looks at Derek and I hear Derek sighing.

"May I see if you have healed?" I shake my head. "I don't want to hurt you, Yn" I don't make any movement but I notice that she frowns softly. "Can you please sit up?" I shake my head. "Alright then" she raises her fingers. "How many fingers am I holding up?" I don't say anything. "Yn?".

"4" she changes them. "2" she changes them again. "0".

"How are you feeling?".

"I'm okay".

"Do you maybe feel anger?" I don't make any movement at first but afterwards I shake my head and look up at her. "Can you please tell me if you have been diagnosed with anything?".

"Umm ... IED and ... I'm ... I'm bipolar" she nods at me understanding.

"I need from you to sit up" she's being really nice. Why? "Can you do it for me?".

"Okay" I sit slowly and softly groan in pain. I felt tears forming in my eyes. I hate that.

"Can you please tell me what side of bipolar you prefer to have the most?" I look at her confused but she nods at me.

"I prefer ... Mania over depression" she nods at me.

"Have you ever gone through depression?".

"Umm ... I ... "

"Okay. Let's take it easy. Alright?" I nod at her. "I need from you to take a few deep breaths".

"Why?".

"Can you please do it?" I stare at her for a few minutes before I do as she said. "Very well. Do you feel anyhow strange?" I don't answer her and simply look down at my fingers. "Let me be straightforward with you, Yn. Do you why did this happen?" I look up at her.

"Umm ... "

"You can trust me".

"I'm not sure" I answered softly. "I don't know if ... If my IED kicked in or if ... "

"You became depressed about something" I softly nod. "Have you been feeling any down lately?" I don't answer her. I have the need to cry at the moment but I won't. "Yn? Are you listening to me?" I nod at her. "Have you been feeling any down lately?" I don't answer her again. "Maybe the loss of something important in your life?" I look up at her. Tears are threatening to escape my eyes. "Maybe a person or even a thing. Maybe an attitude that you didn't like at all".

"It's nothing that hasn't happened before" I answer in a really low voice that I don't even know if she heard me.

"What do you mean by that?".

"I mean that ... That ... " I felt a tear streaming down my cheek but I immediately wiped it off. "I learned like that" my voice is more shaky than I thought it would. Melissa nods at me.

"Learned to hurt yourself in difficult situations?" I shake my head. "Then what?".

"Taking the pain in until it explodes?" I answer her in a low shaky voice.

"Do you ask me?" I shake my head. "What do you mean by taking the pain in until it explodes?".

"Is there any reason that we are doing this?" I point between us.