Secret Desires

10: About That Night

                My grip on the box slipped, but before it could fall Jake caught it. He held onto the side I dropped as I readjusted my hold. I didn't thank him as I swatted his hands away from me. He made a tsking sound and so did I, mocking him. I just wanted to finish moving stuff so we could leave and part ways. As David made his way back inside to grab another box, he held the door open for me.

        "Thank you," I mumbled. He nodded in answer. Jake tsked again. So did I. David stifled a laugh as I headed for the car. I walked slow and steady so as to not slip on any ice. I knew I was being stubborn right now, that was obvious. But after our conversation earlier, I was done trying to be pleasant.

        Jake wanted to argue and point a finger. David just taking it wasn't really helping either. And what could I do about it? Anything I said didn't really matter because any time I've ever tried to take any sort of blame, neither of them would let me. They just blame each other. Somehow in their eyes, I am not at fault for anything bad that has happened to me. How did that make sense?

        After a while, David finally fought back. That's when I had to hear them go back and forth over who was a conflict of interest and who wasn't helping me and who was only making things worse. I gave up on the whole thing. I just started picking up boxes and taking them outside. David was the first to get up and help. Jake kept saying things under his breath but I tried to not let it get to me.

        I let out an exasperated sigh as Jake opened his back door for me. He smiled at me curtly as I slid the box onto the seat, almost falling in the process. His car was full with the exception of the front seat. The back of David's truck was filled with tied-down furniture we were to bring back to the new house. He had an empty seat too. I eyed Jake's front seat, wondering if I was going back with him or David. Jake followed my stare, huffing out a hard breath. It sounded like a laugh.

        "You're not actually considering going with him, are you? After what I said before?" I looked over my shoulder toward the house. Through the living room window, I could see David looking down at a pile of boxes. I turned back to Jake to glare at him.

        "Why are you being like this?" Jake looked at me like I just asked him to solve an equation. It wasn't a hard question. Was he really blind to how he was acting right now?

        "Like what?"

        "Like an ass," I snapped, closing the car door a little too hard. He scoffed at me as he looked around. He smiled at the house in a way that was annoyed yet amused. "Because I kissed him? You have no right to be mad at that." His eyes snapped to mine.

        "You said he kissed you." I did say that. I sighed as I shrugged my shoulders, dropping them as if they were heavy.

        "He did, but... I made the first move." I had been the one to initiate things. David hovering over me hadn't been some cheesy move he was making. He looked guilty just being that close to me. But I had been the one to reach up and take his face in my hands. I told him it was okay. I wanted him at that moment and I regret it. Because I think I lost him now. I think I lost my friend.

        "You made the first move... " I nodded. I could see a faint trace of hurt on his face, but it only made me angry.

        "Why do you even care? You're with Vanessa." I told him before that when I was around him, my emotions seem to always get the best of me. He said it was the same with him as well. But why tell me that when he was with her? He was with his ex who he claimed had changed.

        "Because."

        "Because what?" Before he could say more, David approached with a box. It was the size of the box I had brought out but he didn't struggle as I did.