Secret Desires

✧ 10: Facing Life

✧ July 18

       My mom kissed the top of my head before she left. I watched as she got in her car, waved out the window, and turned down the street that would lead out of Briar Ridge. I stood in the doorway for a minute more as I took in a few deep breaths. I let the early morning air fill my lungs and calm my nerves. I had plans for this morning that I would follow through with.

        Last night, after the dinner finally came to an end, Jake and I talked on the phone. It had been the shortest conversation we'd probably ever had. The most bland too. The weather came up twice and so did the food we had. He asked me twice why David and I spent so long in the backyard, but I gave him a short answer. Nothing and just talking. He asked about what, and I said not much. The lie felt wrong of course, but the truth was hurtful.

        I promised myself that I would talk to him this morning about everything that I was feeling. As I stared across the street to his front door my nerves only grew. It was now or never. I took another deep breath and stepped out onto the porch. When I saw his curtains move I stepped back inside. I was about to throw the front door closed when a car turned onto my street. It was a long black car with tinted windows. I felt my head tilt as I watched it pull into the driveway.

        Seconds later the back passenger door was opening and-

        "Gloria!" She smiled wide as she waved a brown gloved hand at me.

        "Blair Harper! Hello, dear!" She closed the door and started to make her way to the porch stairs. I stood in the doorway with my mouth open. As I watched her making her way to me, I found myself wondering if I would look as good as she did at her age. I had no idea what money bought and what she kept up with. If money bought anything that was. The only signs of age were the tiny crow's feet that were hardly visible. Her long wavy black hair wasn't graying. Her glowing and radiant skin wasn't spotted with age or worn with wrinkles. She was wonderfully beautiful.

        "What are you doing here?" I asked, a bit hesitant as she stopped before me. Slung on a shoulder was a small clutch, the thing somehow looking like it cost as much as this house. Gloria smiled as she put a hand to her chest. She huffed out a breath before reaching and pulling me into a hug. I froze under her touch.

        "It's so good to see you, Blair. I've checked in on you nearly every single day." I found myself reaching up to pat her back. I felt uncertain about the gesture. Separating her from being Marcus's mom and just Gloria Hoover wasn't hard to do, but I'd only hugged her once and even then it had been a shock. It was when Dani and I were getting food at the diner and we ran into Gloria on our way out. She'd pulled me into a hug and I didn't know how to react even then.

        "You did?"

        "Of course I did." She laughed but I heard the swell of emotion in her voice. She rubbed at my back as she sighed by my ear.

        "I didn't know," I admitted. I felt my eyebrows furrow as I tried to think if my mom ever told me that Gloria had called.

        "You wouldn't have. I told your mother to not say anything. I wasn't sure how you would feel about me calling all the time for updates on your well-being. But I needed to know you both were taken care of in Chicago and that everything was as okay as it could be. This tribulation..." She pulled away from me, holding me by my shoulders. "You're so young, Blair. I can't imagine what you went through. I was devastated for you and your mother. I sent a thousand prayers and more your way. Oh, my dear."

        Gloria reached to hold my face in her hands. She was tearing up as she shook her head at me. I swallowed as my own eyes prickled.

        "Thank you." There was hardly any sound when I spoke. She patted my cheeks before dropping her hands.