Secret Desires

✧ 16: The Game

✧ December 22nd

  "I'll tell her. Yeah... Okay, love you too. Yeah... I will. Bye." David sounded rushed as he hung up his phone. I tried not reacting when he set his phone down on the counter beside me, his body a breath away. Though I couldn't feel him, I felt how close his presence was behind me. I pursed my lips in an attempt to hide my smile as he leaned into view, his weight on one elbow on the counter ledge. He was smirking at me as I continued to stir.

"Yes?" I asked, feigning being unfazed by him. He raised an eyebrow at the tone I gave him. I shot an eyebrow up right back at him. This only made him laugh.

"Drew says hi."

"I'll be sure to text her later." Because Drew stayed for the winter market they held in their town. She was in charge of a stall and was excited for the coming day. His dad stayed behind to look over everything on the ranch, but he was helping with the stall as well. I wished Drew could've come. I wish both of them could've come, but I understood their reasoning.

As I stirred, I realized David and I had been in silence for a moment too long to be casual. He was staring at me as he smirked, thoughtfully tilting his head. I mockingly tilted mine.

"God, you're beautiful." I rolled my eyes at him, looking back to the pot on the stove. I turned my nose up, feigning disinterest in his compliment. My heart was an uncontrollable flutter in my chest as he laughed to himself. He straightened and pushed off the counter, making his way around me to get something. I didn't turn to look, not wanting to pay him any attention.

This was the game we have been playing for a while now. The heart-racing compliments, the playful teasing, the lingering looks from across the room. Every word, gesture, and look seemed to be a playing piece on the gameboard. I have no idea when the game started, but I enjoyed it more than I probably should. We were flirting around a line that neither of us were going to cross. But I wanted to cross it bad.

After my breakup with Jake, things had been rough. I had a hard time accepting the change and telling myself that this was for the best. It hadn't felt that way at first. And maybe that was because our split had been at a horrible time when we should have been getting support from each other. That's not what happened though.

Jake broke things off because he loved me so much that it hurt, but I didn't love him back. That last kiss was the final thing between us. There had been no more texts, no more calls, no more secret embraces and kisses during stolen moments. We were nothing. The nothing went on for a week. Then it was another week. And then another and another until he was gone. His car was no longer parked outside of the house across the street.

A moving truck came and got all his things and he wasn't even there for any of it. There had been no for sale sign. Jake had moved without a word. It had been a surprise that he sold his house for half its worth, but it was no surprise to me. He wanted a quick sale, that was obvious. My mother had been saddened by the news. He called her and told her he'd received an opportunity in the city and he took it before his window closed. My mother was happy for him and wished him the best. She told him to visit if he could and to keep in contact. And I knew it wasn't what he wanted. But every weekend they spoke on the phone, giving each other updates.

I didn't want to hear about how he lived in the heart of the city renting an apartment in some high-rise building. I didn't want to know about where he lived and how he got a cat to keep him company. I didn't want to know that his cat's name was Toby and that it was grey with white paws. I didn't want to know that he was now a fine art photographer, showcasing and selling his artwork in a gallery just around the corner from where he lived.