Secret Desires

41: Another Horrible Nightmare

        We all stood like statues as Bailey pushed away from Dean. She threw open the bathroom door and started hurling. The sound almost echoed around us. My eyes were on Dean as he stared at the spot Bailey had just been. I needed to speak first. I needed to control the situation before things got worse. My heart was beating so hard that my head was pounding.

       Lie. Lie quickly.

       "Why would she say that?" I asked incredulously. I put a hand to my chest, feigning insult. Jill looked over her shoulder at me, her frown deepening as she shook her head. I shrugged, unsure of how we needed to handle this.

       "I don't know," Dean answered. His words were almost hollow. Did he believe her?

       "Just go check on her," I told him. He started to turn away but stopped in the hall. Jill and I watched as he abruptly spun back around to stare at us. I swallowed hard, unable to stop myself from doing so. He noticed.

       "Why would she think that? Why- How- " He was fighting to find the right words. I shook my head at him, trying to look just as confused as he was. "Why?"

       "You tell me," I said innocently. Bailey hurled again, Dean's hand twitching in her direction. I wanted him to just go to her, to turn and forget what she said. He didn't look like he was backing down.

       "Bailey wouldn't just say something like that," he paused, his eyes dropping to the floor. His voice was clipped. "If there weren't some truth to it." I straightened. He believed her. Over me, he believed her.

       I felt the insult, but it wasn't fair of me to feel this way. But I had known him much longer than Bailey had, and he was picking her- Of course he was picking her, she was his girlfriend. I was in the wrong here. I was the liar after all. But how the fuck did Bailey know?

       "If you're gonna accuse me of fucking my teacher, then you can leave. Both of you," I snapped. And I hated that I spoke to him like this. I hated that he flinched at my words. There was doubt in his eyes as he hesitated. This wasn't fair. This was all catching up to me and it wasn't fair. This was going to ruin everything, wasn't it?

       "Why would she say- "

       "She's lying and she's sloshed. She probably doesn't even know what she's saying," I spat. It felt ugly. The words felt ugly.

       "I've been with Bailey long enough to know when she's lying," he said, his voice gruff. I stared him down, fighting the urge to look away.

       "She must lie a lot then," I shot back. I caught sight of Jill grimacing in my peripheral. I would give in to this ugly side of myself if it meant keeping Jake and me safe. This was one truth Dean could never know.

       "She lies," he hissed, taking two steps back into the room. Jill moved away, keeping out of his line of anger. "When she's feeling overwhelmed but doesn't want me to know. She lies when she has a gift for someone and doesn't want to ruin the surprise. She lies when she's feeling sick but doesn't want to miss out on things. She lies when she gets hurt but doesn't want to worry anyone. She lies when she tells her two-year-old niece that her drawings are better than Picasso's."

       "Dean- " Jill tried. He didn't look at her as he pointed a finger in her direction. I said nothing as he went on.

       "She lies, yeah. If you can even call it that. But she would never lie about something like this. So what the hell is going on between you and Mr. Pierce, Blair?" My nostrils flared as I tried to stay calm. My heart was beating so fast it was like a hummingbird fluttering in my chest. Dean held his hands up, waiting for an answer. I felt my eyes prickle as I dropped the hammer on another nail in the coffin.