Secret Desires

1: Don't Be Bitter

        We pushed our scripts aside when our food came, making a small pile by the window. It was easy to tell whose was whose. Dean's had comments and notes scribbled throughout. Baileys looked as if she just got hers today. When we took our seats in the booth, she pulled her script out of a pretty pink folder. We all did our best to not acknowledge it. My script though, looked like it was trampled by a hoard. Some pages were ripped in the corners, but I tried to fix them with tape. Everyone did their best to not acknowledge that too.

        I didn't want to explain how my script had been under piles of clothes and garbage sitting on my bedroom floor. Then I would have to explain that said piles of clothes and garbage had been sitting on my floor for an embarrassing amount of time. It was only last week I finally cleaned my room. It had taken a few days, but I was able to see my floor now.

        The collection of water bottles on my nightstand was gone. The piles of clothes both clean and dirty were washed and put away. The garbage and dishes that were scattered throughout my room were no longer there. The stacks of homework and extra credit long overdue were done and turned in. I had no idea if any of it would count toward my grade anymore, but I did it anyway.

        David had been right. Maple Creek had been my saving grace. Every day that I was there, I've been able to focus on all of my study packets and late work. David helped me when he could, but he still had his job and work on the ranch. The majority of the time it was Drew who helped me. I hadn't asked for her help at all. One day she just offered and I accepted before she was done speaking. When she had to do her chores, she let me tag along so she could still help.

        I told her many times how I didn't want to bother her when she was busy, but she just kept reassuring me that she enjoyed the company. I hadn't realized at first that I too enjoyed her company. She wasn't bubbly like Layla or intimidating like Dani. She wasn't sassy like Dallas either. She was different from them and I liked her for it. Neither of us minded the age gap between us. She's twenty-two, but when I'm around her I forget how old she is. It felt like I was spending time with a friend.

        It was one of the reasons why I was sad about today. This was my last weekend at Maple Creek. I wasn't ready to say goodbye, but my punishment was over. Cassie and I had no reason to be on the ranch after these three days were up. I'm not sure how Cassie feels about it, but I think she enjoyed herself. She spent most of her time with Dallas. After he took the hint that she wasn't interested, they got along really well.

        "Blair." I looked up, realizing I'd been staring at my food this entire time. Dean was looking at my food as if something was wrong with it. "You okay?" I nodded because I was. I could see he didn't believe me so I offered him a smile. He didn't seem to believe that either.

        "What's wrong?" Jill asked. I turned to see her plate almost completely devoured. My plate was untouched. I picked my fork up and started moving food around.

        "I'm fine I just- " I stopped myself from saying what I wanted to. I had to remind myself that Dean and Bailey were here too. I couldn't be as open as I wanted to be right now. "These are the last three days of the program I'm in and I just didn't think that I was gonna like it this much." I tried to explain without saying too much.

        Jill nodded with a knowing smile. She shoved an obnoxious amount of food into her mouth without warning. Bailey's eyes bulged as she watched Jill try to chew. Dean shook his head, quickly looking elsewhere. I knew what Jill was trying to do and it made me glare at her. She was trying not to laugh.

        After my first night on the ranch, I'd made the mistake of telling Jill things I probably shouldn't have. Telling her that David knew about Jake hadn't been as alarming or interesting as me telling her I think I liked David. I probably should have kept the second part to myself, but I wanted to share things with her again. I felt that we could be close again like we once were. Getting back to some sort of normalcy was the most important thing to me right now.