Secret Desires

32: Know The Risks

        "Everyone is freaking out at school." I kicked at the water, making ripples around us.

       "I figured," I murmured. Jill sighed as she slid into the pool again, water splashing onto my knees. I stayed sitting on the ledge, my feet kicking idly. Jill and I were near where the water reached just below our chest. I was wearing the swimsuit I thought I wouldn't wear. She was wearing a two-piece that I would never feel confident in. Even now I was wearing a baggy shirt. After swimming for a bit, it clung to my body. I had to keep pulling it away from my skin.

       Jill swam lazily in a circle. We said very little to each other, but I didn't mind. I didn't need someone to talk to, I just wanted her company. She'd come after school to see me. Dean had tried to come with her, but my mother was on edge about anyone trying to see me. Jill was the only one she would let near me. Dean had understood, but I know it bothered him. David was the exception because he was tasked with keeping an eye on me.

       "Everyone seems to have mixed feelings," she said. "Some people think he was right to run because he didn't deserve to be sentenced in the first place."

       "Mhm." I didn't have anything to say to that. It didn't matter. No matter what, people were going to be on Nolan's side.

       "But some people think that him running is a sign of guilt." Guilt. People thought he looked guilty, but I didn't know what to make of it. There was no telling why he ran.

       "David thinks he ran because saying goodbye to his dad might've been overwhelming... and he probably isn't thinking straight right now. He probably realizes the mistake he's made, but it's too late." Nolan was facing five to ten years depending on what he does next. No one knew what move he would make. Where did he go? What was his plan? Will he turn himself in to get the minimum sentence?

       "I think he ran because he wasn't going to survive jail another six months. Maybe he was in danger in there?" I shrugged, not really considering that.

       I looked over my shoulder at David, wondering if he considered that thought. He wasn't even listening to us. He was staring at the glass doors. You needed a card to come in here, but anything was a possibility I suppose. He told me I shouldn't be concerned because he wasn't concerned. But the way he stared at those doors like Nolan would burst through them at any second.

       "David?" His head turned slowly in my direction, his eyes unwilling to look away from the door. He rose an eyebrow at me, offering a slight smile. He wasn't doing a great job at convincing me I had nothing to worry about.

       "Yeah," he answered. I noted the discoloration under his eyes, the signs of exhaustion. When did he sleep? When he was sitting up most of the night when my mom and I were in bed, when did he get to rest?

       "Are you okay?" I asked, my eyebrows bunching together. He nodded to me, offering me a reassuring smile. I stared at him for a moment, worrying about him. He just smiled at me, winking once. I smiled back the best I could, turning back to face Jill. She was floating on her back, staring up at the ceiling. Her hair looked brown in the water with no hint of blonde anywhere.

       "Are you okay?" I asked her. She nodded, her lips twitching up at the corners.

       "Yeah... I was thinking about how I would beg your mom to let you go on this trip." I made a face at that. I'd almost forgotten all about the trip. It was still happening. Of course it was. Why would this put a halt to it? Especially when Nolan wasn't seen as a threat.

       "I don't wanna go. I have no reason to." She stopped floating, shaking her head at me.

       "It's a free trip to a major city with amazing food in a fancy hotel. And we're celebrating Dean's belated birthday by taking him to see his favorite band and all your friends are going." She swam to the ledge, resting her arms on the tile. She gave me an expectant look. I rolled my eyes.