Secret Desires

29: Sorry

        Christopher picked himself up quickly, smoothing out the wrinkles in his clothes as he faced Jake. I narrowed my eyes at the look of innocence on Christopher's face. As if he were doing nothing more than having a casual conversation with me. He was disgusting. I wanted to smack that look right off of his stupid face.

       "Mr. Pier- "

       "Why are you loitering by my door, Christopher?" Jake's tone was full of underlying insults. He didn't bother to sound civil. I took a step back, unsure if he had any of that unkindness reserved for me. I preferred to not be in the crossfire.

       "Well, I was just- "

       "If I see you near my door before last period again... I'm writing you up." Jake stepped over the threshold, crossing his arms as he stared Christopher down. Christopher laughed a bit sheepishly as he stammered.

       "I wasn't- I mean- but I- "

       "You out of first to last period art. You have no reason to be standing here right now." The way I looked when Christopher spoke down to me right before Jill threw hot coffee on him that in Velthorne... That's how Christopher looked. A deer in headlights.

       I almost felt sorry for him. Almost. I hated how he treated me. The things he said to me were gross and insulting. Any interaction I've had with him has been vile or cruel or both. He was nothing to me. We were never friends and barely acquaintances. He had been Nolan's friend. They were both on the football team when Nolan played last year. Christopher was still on the team.

       I've never been to any of our school's games, but whenever I had P.E outside, I would see Christopher and Nolan out on the field. They would be laughing together, practically joined at the hip. I thought for the longest time they were best friends, but that had been Cassie's role in Nolan's life.

       I don't know why he hates me or wants to have sex with me. I don't know why he wants anything to do with me. Even the people who were in Nolan's little clique don't bother me the way Christopher has. They laugh at me and whisper when they pass. Sometimes they say things to me in passing that sting, but they have never put their hands on me. Except for Caitlyn that is.

       I shrugged away from my shoulder being touched. I regretted doing so when I met his stare. His expression was hard as he dropped his hand. Christopher wasn't here anymore. I looked around and realized he wasn't even in this hallway anymore. No one was.

       "Well?" I faced him again, feeling remorseful about last night.

       "What?" I asked. He looked like he wanted to roll his eyes but was trying not to.

       "Why were you with him?" His words were slow and harsh. I felt that small spark of anger at hearing him speak to me that way. I wasn't a child in need of scolding. So easy. It was so easy to be mad at him.

       "I wasn't with him. He- "

       "Sure looked like- "

       "Shut up and let me talk," I snapped. The bite in my words was enough to draw blood. I saw what it did to him. The way the sharpness of my words broke his demeanor. The shock was enough to make him stay silent. I sighed, hating how this was going already. This isn't how I wanted to come here.

       Before he could object, I grabbed his arm and pulled him into his classroom. I closed his door and locked it. And because I didn't want to risk it, I hurried to the back door and locked that one as well. Jake was standing by his desk, arms folded again. The hard exterior had returned. My steps back to him were slow and careful. Like creeping toward a sleeping lion.