Secret Desires

23: A Sense Of Relief

        Dani and I went back and forth, telling each other a truth for a truth.   

        Each one felt more bare than the last. I'd never felt so revealed before. Not with David and not with Jake. Not even with Dean or Jill. Those things came gradually over time. This was truth after truth, vulnerability after vulnerability, without giving each other time to breathe or gather our thoughts.  

        At times, I almost felt overwhelmed by everything Dani told me. I'm sure she felt the same way. That brick wall I had built over twelve years, the one left in rubble... It was like taking Dani to a demo sight and explaining the reason behind each brick. Explaining what each crack and broken piece was a result of.

        I told her about Marcus and who we learned he was before he came into our lives wreaking havoc. The good son who lost his way. I told her how I grew up an only child with a single mother who struggled every day. How we once lived out of our car because we were homeless. How I'm struggling in school because everyone pretty much hates me, including most of my teachers.   

        I told her more than I probably should have.

        Of course, some bricks were left untouched. Bricks that I may never go near or speak of to anyone.

        When almost two hours had passed, she let out a deep sigh. She'd already paid for our food. We'd just been sitting in our booth talking. Our voices had been low enough that our words didn't travel to nearby tables. I'm not sure I would have cared either way.

        Dani started to gather her things, pausing before looking up at me.

        "If you have no intention to be with my brother, you should tell him." I swallowed. Her words weren't harsh, only a suggestion.

        She had asked what it was we had, if we were together and keeping it a secret or just messing around. I offered her a bit of truth and told her that I wasn't sure where my heart was when it came to David. I admitted to liking him, which didn't seem to be a secret to begin with, but that there was something holding me back. She didn't question me after that nor did she bring David up again.

        Until now that is.

        "I haven't spoken to him all month. I don't know if- "

        "He wants to talk to you, but he's waiting on you." I swallowed again. "Come with me... Come talk to him. I'll drive you back home afterward."

        "That's a lot of driving- "

        "I don't mind." She made it hard to say no. Almost desperate too.

        So I didn't say no, I only nodded. Dani smiled with relief. I could feel my hands start to get clammy. The thought of seeing David again...

        A month felt like more than enough time. And I couldn't deny that I missed him, but I missed my friend more.

        Dani stood and started to gather her things. I took a deep breath, preparing myself for the drive with her. Would there be more bare truths shared between us? I wasn't sure if I could take any more. I was mentally and emotionally exhausted.

        Just as I turned to exit the booth, a familiar face started to approach. I locked eyes with her, returning the surprised smile she greeted me with.

        "Blair Harper." She said my name as if happy to run into me. I didn't think I would ever see her again. I gasped when she pulled me into a tight embrace. I laughed, a bit shocked by the gesture.

        "Gloria." I stopped myself from saying her last name aloud, unsure if she would want to be recognized in public. Gloria held me by my shoulders as she took a step back. Gloria James Hoover was just as radiant and gorgeous as the first time I met her. Her hair was down, thick black waves cascading to her lower back. She wore a black dress that was fitted to her body and she pulled it off well. She still looked like she could be my mothers' age.