Secret Desires

✧ 14: I'm A Wreck

✧ July 19

      I was clutching the small lotus at the base of my throat. I could feel the small points of the petals pricking my palm as I stood on my porch stairs. The tiny pricks of pain weren't enough to relieve the worry and unease. David and I had still been in the kitchen when the yelling started. He'd just finished explaining everything to me. I knew the details but knowing didn't make it any better.

        I had no time to react before we heard the commotion outside. David and I knew immediately it was Vanessa and Jake we were hearing as we rushed to the front door. David had told me to stay where I was as he hurried across the street. I obeyed because what else was I going to do?

        My heart was beating frantically as I watched him de-escalate whatever was happening between Jake and Vanessa. Moments later he was guiding Vanessa away, a hand on her back as they left Jake in his driveway. He was staring at them with an unreadable expression. From how his body appeared stiff, his arms folded across his chest, it wasn't hard to imagine what he might be feeling right now.

        I tore my gaze away from Jake to the sobbing girl David led to his truck. David opened the door for her and helped her get in. He said something to her that she seemed to protest against. He shushed her, saying something only meant for her ears. She closed her eyes, dipping her head in shame almost. David said a few more words before she nodded. Another few words from David and he was closing the passenger door.

        When he turned to face me my stomach sank. He was leaving me here alone. The apology in his eyes was obvious as he came to me. I stumbled down the last few steps to meet him halfway.

        "I'm gonna take her to her sister's house. I might be able to get her to hear Vanessa out." I nodded as he placed a hand on my shoulder, gently squeezing once in an attempt at comfort. I sighed as I folded my arms across my chest like Jake. My eyes darted to where he was still standing. He was staring at the blue truck. It was more of a glare really.

        "Do you think he's okay?" It was a stupid question. Of course he wasn't okay. David dropped his hand, stealing a look over his shoulder at the man quietly raging behind him. Jake didn't take his eyes off David's truck. Part of me thought he would storm over here and start fighting with Vanessa again.

        "The man just found out the baby he's been expecting isn't his. I think he's far from okay." David let out a long breath before turning to face me again.

        "I'll talk to him," I said, not feeling too confident in my own words.

        "Wait until I come back." His response was quick, alarmed almost. I met the look he was giving me with one of my own.

        "I know he's angry, but-"

        "Have you seen him like this before?" I scoffed, but I found it hard to answer him. There were plenty of times I had seen Jake irritated and annoyed. Times I've seen him jealous and upset. And there were times I have seen him angry enough to make my own blood boil. Memories were flashing in my mind that I hated thinking about. Things I wanted to forget but couldn't.

        I'd been afraid of how angry David could get because I didn't know how far he could go. I still don't, but when I thought about it, there was a sort of control he had when he was seeing red.

        The day he walked in on me and Jake had been horrible. The venom in his voice when he told Jake to step away from me. I'd been so disappointed in myself and embarrassed for getting caught up in Jake. I thought at that moment that David would hurt him. But then I remembered the deep breath David had taken before turning his attention to me.