Secret Desires

42: Don't Cry

Trigger warning: S/A| Blood| Violence 

        The kiss was gentle and slow. I kissed him back. The fear of him getting angry and using that gun on me was all the encouragement I needed. The kiss was salty from my tears.

       Nolan pulled away to brush away the strands of hair that fell into my face. My lip was quivering as I tried not to flinch away from his touch.

       "Don't cry," he whispered. He wiped away fresh fallen tears. A jolt of horror went through me as he moved onto the bed, positioning himself over me. I looked away from him, my eyes falling on the gun. There wasn't a lick of bravery in me to even dare to reach for it. I gasped when I was pulled away from the headboard. Nolan shushed me. He'd grabbed me by my legs and pulled me toward him so that I was on my back.

       I yanked at my shirt again, covering my stomach and what I could of my lower half.

       "I know you missed me too." I hated the softness he spoke with. I wanted to spit at him, but I knew what that would get me. "You're so beautiful. You were always mine." The whimper I held back was still heard, even as my mouth stayed shut. He shushed me again, stroking my face. He ran a hand from my right knee to my upper thigh. I clenched my teeth together as I looked away again. My eyes closed as he spread my legs apart and leaned down. His lips were by my ear, his breath a warm tickle.

       "I thought about you every day." A kiss on my neck sent a shiver down my body. Nolan laughed lightly, a hand traveling from my thigh to my hip. From my hip, he roamed upward to my waist. I shook with fear when his fingers passed the hem of my underwear. "Did you think about me too?"

       "Yes," I answered. It was a broken sound. I'd lie to save my life. I was already expecting the worst, but death... I wanted to live. If I gave him whatever he wanted, was living a guarantee?

       Nolan kissed down my neck to my collarbone. I inhaled a shuttering breath, my eyes opening when I felt him shift over me. He was between my legs, one hand supporting him on the bed, the other under my shirt moving from my waist to my chest. I wasn't wearing a bra and he knew that now. He was breathy as he moved to look down at me. Did he not see the fear on my face? Did he not care? Was he that blind to everything?

       I looked over his shoulder as his fingers grazed over the entirety of my breast. My body reacted to his gentleness in a way that made my teeth grind. I wanted to scream and scratch at his face. I wanted to hurt him. His touch disgusted me. When I felt him press himself between my legs, I gasped. I couldn't stop myself from putting my hands on his chest, pushing lightly. I met his stare, my eyes wide. He looked confused as I silently protested against all of this. His hand pulled away from my breast but it lingered along my torso.

       Before he could question me, there was a knock at the front door.

       We both looked out into the small hallway toward the kitchenette. The sound of a keycard swiping had Nolan rolling off of me and rushing to close the bedroom door. My heart was pounding in my chest as hope pulsed through me. I was sitting up now, my mind racing with ways to get out of this safely. Nolan locked the bedroom door before reaching for the gun on the nightstand. He held a finger to his lips, a quiet threat.

       "Blair?" I didn't know whether to be grateful or horrified that it wasn't Jill who came into the suite, but David. Nolan gave me a questioning look. I shrugged, shaking my head in answer. No, I had no idea what David was doing in my room.