Secret Desires

19: Sex And Alcohol

        "He blames you. For calling her when they were dating... He blames you." Jake lifted his fist to his mouth, taking a deep breath. His sudden laugh made me flinch.

       "Did he tell you he called her on Christmas while we were dating?" I nodded. David had called her for answers, but she had sounded happy. He let her remain so by not bringing any of his questions up. He let her be.

       "He did." He waved his hands in the air, giving me that incredulous look again.

       "And you don't think that's questionable? But when I call her I'm the bad guy." I stepped toward him, not caring if he didn't want me close to him. I held back a shiver as a cold breeze bit at my skin. My jacket was inside but I wasn't about to go get it. Jake crossed his arms, his eyebrows furrowed as he stared down at me.

       "David called her looking for answers as to why his ex was at the trial. He called her wanting to know why you had an order of protection against her and before you ask, he knows about it because he did a background check on you."

       "What?!"

       "He had just found out my teacher was involved with me, can you blame him? Because I don't. Especially because he chose not to do anything about it. He chose to not only protect me but you as well. And when he called Vanessa on Christmas, he was looking for answers. Answers only she could give him. And you know what? He didn't even question her because she said she was happy with someone. So he let it go by wishing her a merry Christmas. He let her be happy.

       Yet, when you called her, you were telling her how much you missed her and wanted her to come over. She told you she was with someone and you disregarded what she said."

       "That's not- " He didn't finish his sentence. I could see the rest of his words trapped in his throat. He swallowed, eyeing me apprehensively. He was holding back. "I have my reasons," he said, his voice hoarse almost.

       "Is there a reason why you made her think you loved her for so long?" His eyes widened a bit, his lips in a thin line. "Maybe I know more than you think. You don't look good from anyone's perspective, Jake."

      "I don't think David's perspective really matters." His tone was sharp. I wasn't backing down. David got the short end of the stick when it came to all of this. I felt sorry for him. And I was going to defend him.

       "All this time, you made her sound like she was some monster."

       "You don't- "

       "And you never even told me that she was the one who bought the camera."

       "Blair, you don't understand. I- "

       "You broke her heart."

       "I'm not going to stand here and talk about Vanessa with -"

       "She loved you!" He stopped talking. His eyes were red, brimming with tears. My hands were shaking at my sides. "She loved you and instead of just breaking up with her, you made her think you loved her too. So forgive me if I don't think Vanessa was the real monster in all of this."

       My breath clouded with each shuttering breath I took. I didn't regret my words. I didn't regret standing up for someone who was indeed blindsided and betrayed. Regardless of what she did, she did not deserve what he did to her.

       I watched as his tear-filled eyes became angrier. His upper lip quivered before he turned away from me. I blinked, a little shocked that he was just walking away. He wasn't even denying what I was saying.