Lust for Love

Chapter 48

Three days later Sherry returned home with the newest member of our family. I had avoided seeing the baby for three days but I wasn't sure how I would accomplish that at home and it somewhat started to feel like a ridiculous notion.

Tyler was responsible too for making me feel that way as he guilt-tripped me for three days straight and now I'm forced to stand here at the door to welcome Sherry and the baby.

"Alright, they are almost here," Gray announced.

Juvi and Tyler waited in anticipation while I was waiting with mixed feelings of dread and excitement.

I'm scared.

Why am I so scared?

Should I run away?

I thought and immediately Tyler grabbed my shoulders to prevent me.

"As if!" he growled.

He really can read minds, can't he?

Scary.

When the door opened, Sherry carried a bundle of blanket in her arms. She looked exhausted but happy and when she saw me I could sense a mix of sadness and happiness when our eyes met.

Was she hurt when I didn't come to visit?

I guess she must have felt hurt.

I'm sorry Sherry.

"Welcome home little Champ!!!!" Gray and Juvi roared almost startling me.

You morons you'll startle the baby too!

But to everyone's surprise, the baby remained silent for some time before giggling and flailing her tiny hands around in the blanket as Gray and Juvi played with her in the hallway.

Tyler remained by my side but my heart started thumping really hard.

My eyes twitched as tears threatened to escape and I felt scared not of the baby but of that unknown feeling I had buried in my heart.

Why am I feeling like this?

It's suffocating.

I can't...I can't...I just want to...no I don't want to feel it yet.

No..

I abruptly ran back upstairs swatting Tyler's hand away, without seeing the baby's face as my heart raced and my lungs out of breath.

No if I see the baby...it...will it all become real?

"HAH! HuH! HAA" I tripped on my feet in my room as I gasped for air. "HAAH! Huh! Haa.."

My head is spinning.

I can't breathe.

I am happy for the Sherry but....I...Why can't I be strong?

Why am I such a pathetic excuse for a sister?

Why can't I simply be happy for them?

Did Sherry feel hurt again?

No, she might understand if she knew about my circumstances.

No, she can't ....what if that causes her pain...I can't...I'm scared.

I'm really scared....hic

I shivered on the floor as feelings I had tried to repress were surfacing but Tyler rubbed my back as he calmly asked me to breathe.