The Enchantress

44.

Princess Mina.

We were on our way to the Kingdom of Cait. Thoughts keep flooding my mind. For two days I've been crying my eyes out when I learned about what happened to Rowan. But now all I think of is Chaeyoung.

The fact that he'll go back to war makes me feel uneasy. I remember the day when Rowan was about to go to war. I didn't want him to go and even suggested to ran away with me.

When I learned Chaeyoung will go back I suddenly felt like scared for him. What if he had the same fate as Rowan? I'm feeling it again, that familiar feeling of my heart being dropped from a height. The uneasiness that won't go away.

What's with men really serious about their duty. Really! What's with them being all tough and have that 'i need to fight for my country' thing. Don't they fear for their life? I get it they want to win the war for the sake of all the kingdom's future.

I want to beg just like how I begged Rowan not to go but our situation is different for he's not my lover. Yes he isn't my lover but when the time comes that I have to go I whispered to him. "Come with us. You don't have to fight."

I want to put some sense on him. That the battle was fought for days without him so he need not to go back there.

I even told him. "I have lost one, I don't want to lose another..."

I don't know what's gotten into me to say all those things. But it's the truth for I already lost Rowan in this war and losing another is too much already.

I remember what he said:
"My Lady you won't lose me. I won't waste 3 years of waiting and looking for you. I will always find a way back to you."

3 years of waiting and looking for me? What does he mean by that? He did know me being Lady Sharon before. But how? I really can't remember meeting him. He haven't been on our kingdom and certainly I haven't been on his.

"...I will always find a way back to you." Those words are now stuck on my head. I will really kill him if he didn't come back.

"You're in deep thoughts again." I heard Sana as she was now riding beside me.

She added. "Looks like you and Chaeyoung had a heartfelt conversation before we departed."

"What heartfelt?" I said trying to deny it.

"Oh please. I was the nearest one to you two. You were teary eyed. If I guess it right, you told him you don't want him to go."

Is she a psychic or what? I hate it when she's always right or able to guess it right.

Telling Sana would mean I'll be teased for sure. Knowing her she'll probably squeeze me just to admit what I feel for him.

Honestly I can't deal with that for now. All I know is I... What do I really feel?

I lost my lover and yet it's him I'm thinking about now. I just told him not to go to war when I'm in no position to do so. What is happening to me?

Sana then spoke bringing me back from my thoughts.

"You're not going to tell me aren't you? Well, no need. Cause I know I'm right. Mina..." She then looked at me. I looked back at her.

"I know you're still mourning, but It's not wrong to feel what you feel for him. Stop holding it back. You also deserve to be happy. I want you to be happy and I know Rowan would feel the same thing as well."

She then smiled at me and nudge her horse forward to ride alongside Papa.

When Sana is serious, she always leave me with something deep to think of.