The both of them noticed his change a while ago , though y/n did notice first . One thing she loves about gaon was the way his eyes told her everything . When he was happy they were happy , when he was sad , they were sad . When he loved her he'd stare at her alot , or even when he wasn't staring she could catch the stars that filled his eyes when he just glanced at her .
It's been about 5 months since she last saw those stars . 5 months since he looked at her the way he used to , touched her the way he used to .. loved her the way he used to . To be honest gaon was scared . He noticed that he didn't feel the way he used to when it came to her anymore . His heart didn't skip a beat when he saw her , his stomach didn't get all ticklish when he hugged her .. he knew he was changing but he didn't understand why .
He didn't understand why he fell out of love with her , if you'd asked him a year ago he'd probably would've looked at you like you were insane . He thought he'd love her forever , she was perfect .. everything he'd ever wanted , so why ? .. why didn't he love her the same anymore ? He felt like such a dick because he knew he was hurting her and that was never his intentions .
He walked along the street , both hands in his jacket pockets as his eyes stayed glued to the ground in front of him . He was on his way to meet up with her to have coffee but his mind had been elsewhere since she texted him this morning . "Gaon!" he heard her voice call out to him making him look up . She smiled and walked towards him with 2 cups of coffee in her hands . Time seemed to go slowly as she walked towards him , everything surrounding her so dull & colorless .
She stopped in front of him holding a cup out to him , smiling brightly like always . That's when he was completely sure , he had love for her but he didn't love her in that way anymore & that made his chest hurt . He took the cup from her hands and thanked her before proceeding to walk down the street . The two of them walked to the park they'd used to spend time at in the beginning . She rambled on about everything and nothing like always but was slowly saying less & less seeing how disconnected gaon was .
She stopped her sentence and just stared out into the distance . The silence finally catching his attention , gaon looked at her seeing the sad look he'd often catch her holding when she wasn't aware he was looking . Even when they weren't around each other he'd see it walking past her sitting in the grass on campus .
"Y/n-" "I know" she interrupted him . "I know" she repeated , her eyes filling with tears that she tries so hard not to let fall . "I'm sorry" gaon said letting his head fall , he felt so guilty and it all hurt so bad . "It's okay gaon , it would've happened eventually" she said and he could hear the shaking in her voice . He hated that though , why did he have to fall out of love with her? It wasn't fair to her or him because he didn't want to love her again .. but he just couldn't .
He was snapped out of his thoughts by her hand leaving his back . When he turned around she was already walking the opposite way and he could tell she was already crying . Her hands balled up , clutching the side of her jeans . He wanted to chase her , he wanted to get on his knees and apologize but what would that help?
He looked down at the table seeing a picture laying face down beside him . When he picked it up it was a polaroid from the date the two of them went on and he asked her to be his girlfriend . She was smiling at the camera all teeth on display and he was smiling at her , showcasing all of his as well . He immediately started to sob . It came out very loud but he could care less about any of that right now .
He clutched the picture in his hand and his other hand gripped and grabbed at his chest as he try to claw his stupid , cruel heart out .
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this one hurt bc i was in the same position as this song 2 months ago 😭
