The Bartender

Chapter 35

Part 2

TW- Mentions of rape, triggering past.

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"I think I- I want to tell you s-something." Louis says slowly as he takes another drag from his cigarette.

Harry suddenly felt a little sober and he looked up at Louis from where he was laying on his chest and motioned him to continue.

"Liam has been nagging me since a while for this, a-and I think now is the right time." Harry felt Louis breathing shakily as Louis took a last drag of his cigarette and crushed it on the ashtray which was kept on the nightstand.

"You know my mum had me at a very young age" He starts looking at the wall in front of him, "she was just 19 and when I took birth my biological dad left us because he didn't want me." Harry tightened his grip around Louis' waist, he was completely sober now and was understanding where this conversation was going. "My mum raised me alone for a few years and to be honest I never felt the absence of a father in my life cause my mum gave me so much of love and we were very happy together."

Louis smiles a little at the memory of him and his mother living happily when he was little.

"Then when I was five my mum met Mark. He was a very good guy, he accepted me and my mum and he loved both of us alot. A few months after they met, they got married. He treated me like I was his own son and even gave me his last name, Tomlinson. He used to play alot with me, and to be honest we were all very happy, he was my superhero and I loved him so much.
Then soon Lottie took birth, then Fizzy and the twins. I always wanted a brother but I got four sister but I was happy, ya know. I used to play with the girls alot and they were, are still very important to me and I'd protect them and love them at all costs." Louis smiles but suddenly his smile turns into a sad frown.

"It was all good, until I came out to my family." He says silently. "I was fifteen when I told my parents that I'm gay and me mum happily accepted me and she wasn't upset even a bit but Mark-" He chuckles dryly remembering the day he came out to his parents, "he was disgusted with me. Since that day he stopped talking to me and literally he even stopped looking at me. Everytime I came in front of him he used to call me a fag and used to tell me to get away from him or else he would catch 'the gay disease'." He sniffles slightly. Harry flinches a little at those harsh words.

"Lou you don't have to continue if you don't want to." Harry says softly as he sees Louis' glassy eyes.

"No if I don't say now, I will never be able to." Louis says. He takes a deep breath before continuing. "He never really told me anything in front of my mum but she was obviously aware that he didn't like the idea of me being gay. I to be very fair did not like the idea of my dad hating me because back then I loved him very much but his hatred for me grew more day by day." A tear slipped down his but he was quick to wipe it because he didn't want Harry to see him cry, but Harry did. "Everytime my mum wasn't around he used to hit me and call me a fag and tell me that I'm a disgrace to his family and then he used to force and blackmail me not to tell my mum about any of this and me being the stupid kid I was, I never told about any of this to my mum. At night when everyone used to be asleep he used to get drunk and hit me with his belt and he always said that my biological dad knew that I was gay that's why he left me." A broken sob leaves Louis' lips as he remembers those horrific nights of Mark hitting him. "During those days I realized that he never loved me, because if he did he would've never done this to me."

"I never told about any of this to my mum because I knew if I told her she would leave Mark and I didn't want the girls to grow up without a father like me cause they were very young so I kept my mouth shut." Louis sniffles a little more as a few tears roll down his cheeks.