Dangerous Desires (Book 2)

Angeldust

WARNING: There is angst and a savage beating in this chapter. You have been warned!

                              ~~~~~~~

I'm numb. I can't move, and I dont want to.

Blueberry is dead, head hanging in the damn foyer. Valentino is rumored to be dead as well. At least, that is what is circulating on Sinstagram and Hellbook. My old place of work is a pile of rubble. No survivors.

I don't have the strength to ask Alastor if he killed Val and destroyed the studios. I'm not sure my fragile heart can handle his answer. Yes, I loathed both with a passion. But I wanted to be the one to decapitate that cock sucking twat with my own two hands. Make him suffer for every beating, rape, or drug he forced on me when he didn't get his way. Alastor knew that. He knew I wanted to off Val one day. Yet, his smirking face is plastered all over 666 news. A missing person. I know the truth though. Deep down, I can feel it.

Valentino is dead.

The thought should fill me with joy. Overwhelming glee. Something. But all I feel... is nothing. Summoning up even one emotion is impossible. I've used a nail to dig into my palm just to feel pain, distract me from the empty oblivion. It doesn't work.

Day in and day out, I lay curled on the bed. Checking my phone here and there until it lays forgotten on the silk covers next to me. Battery undoubtly dead by now. I'm not even entirely sure why I lay on this bed every day, unmoving.

Maybe it's 'cause Blueberry
stayed in this room...

A pang of hurt stabs my heart at the thought and is gone within seconds, buried under dazed numbness. A sharp knock sounds. Hesitant at first, then with increasing urgency.

When I don't answer, the door opens and red ears appear first before a pair of worried crimson eyes follow. Alastor stares at me for a moment, gaze going from me and then shifting downward to look at something I can't see a few times. Seeming to come to an unspoken decision, I see his smile thin into grim determination, and he steps out from behind the open door. What I see, has a sudden spike of anger racing through me. White-hot and scorching.

Lingerie. He's wearing red lingerie. A one piece teddy to be exact. Standing there, hoove scuffing the carpet nervously, Alastor peeks up at me with his face darkening into an embarrassed blush.

More rage boils my blood and I grit my teeth. After not being able to feel a thing for weeks, I grab onto the spreading anger without hesitation. "How dare ya come ta me lookin' like that?!?! Ya think this is a god damn joke? Dress up like a fuckin' whore and I'll automatically want sex?"

"No, that's not-"

"Ya murdered da guy I love. Mounted his head on da wall like some sick trophy ta stroke yer fuckin' ego. Destroyed any chance I have at vengeance with Val. And now, yer tryin' ta get in ta my pants? Ya are a demented sick fuck!"

"I'm not trying anything-" Alastor tries to argue, but I cut him off by sitting up, grabbing the alarm clock off the dresser, and tossing it at his head. He ducks, narrowly avoiding it.

"Ya repulsive..." I scrabble around in the top drawer for something to throw as Alastor carefully moves away from the door. My fingers curl around something hard and squishy.

A purple dildo.

One from my collection that sits in the drawer. Hidden there after I moved my stuff from the Happy Hotel, to his house. Whether Blueberry knew they were there or not, I don't want to know.

Smash!

It flies across the room, hitting a glass frame of watercolor art hanging on the wall.

"smug..."

Smash!

There goes another painting.

"uncarin'..."

Smash!

"piece of shit!"

"Wildflower-"

"Shut da fuck up! Ya don't get ta call me that! Neva' again! Ya took somethin' precious ta me and smashed it in ta smithereens. Ya broke my trust, probably foreva'. Ya did this! Ya fuckin' broke me! Ya annialated all da love I had left. I fuckin' hate ya!"

Red eyes latch onto mine, widening with shock at my rant of hatred. Slowly, his shoulders slump, ears droop, and body sags. As if all the fight left him in one fell swoop. Eyes lowering to the ground, Alastor doesn't say a word. For some reason, that pisses me off even more. Jumping from the bed, I storm over to him, planting two hands on his chest and shoving with all my might.

He stumbles, back hitting the wall, still not saying a word.

"What? No witty remark? No, 'Smile, my dear?'" Cocking back an arm, I slam my fist into his face, his chest, his arms. Hysterical laughter spilling from numb lips. "Where is da cute nicknames now, ya jackass? WHERE ARE THEY NOW?!?!"

Fists and claws raining down on every inch of exposed skin I can find, laughter morphs into vicious snarls. Alastor doesn't move. He doesn't lift a finger to protect himself. Just takes the beating with a glassy stare.

"I bought this, because I love you." Faint with only a crackle of low static, I almost miss the broken whisper.

"Ya don't love me! If ya did, ya neva' woulda' hurt him!" Trembling with rage, I stand there, struggling to hold back the sobs choking me.

"I just wanted to help." His tone is a bit stronger, but very soft. Softer than I've ever heard it.

"Ya want ta help? Take this and go fuck yerself!" I snatch a bright pink ridged dildo from the ground where it had rolled, and shove it to his chest.

Arms going around my torso - a futile attempt to protect my broken heart from any more harm - I stomp back over to the bed and curl up into a fetal position. The sudden bout of anger draining too quickly and leaving me tired and numb again.

Only when I hear the door click shut do I finally allow a whimper to escape.