DEVIL'S WRATH 1: Lucian Velorca (COMPLETED)

CHAPTER 32

              "HINDI mo ako asawa, Lucian. Kahit ang kasalang naganap noon ay alam kong parte ng kasinungalingan mo. Now stop your act because you can no longer fool me!" I exclaimed while my eyes were raging.

Nanghihina siyang napayuko na para bang sinusubukang iproseso lahat ng sinasabi ko.

"Sabi mo sa akin noon, kapag may ikinagagalit tayo sa isa't isa, sabihin muna natin, pero ikaw ang hindi tumupad sa usapan natin, Milk. Basta ka na lang umalis nang hindi man lang ako tinanong kung lahat ba ng nalaman mo ay totoo. I only said those to Veronica because I didn't want her to hurt you anymore. I didn't want her to ruin our marriage and make you suffer especially when I was not around. You know how desperate she is, but you don't know how capable she is of everything." He stared at me, and I saw again the sincerity, loneliness and pain in his eyes.

"The marriage contract we signed was not fake, we're married, Milk. And all those conclusions you instilled in your mind, none of them are true. I want you and Milo in my life, but you didn't trust me. You've always been walking away without having the courage to listen to my side first. You never trusted me. Basta mo na lang akong iniwan and you didn't know how my world turned upside down when you left me! How could you think bad of me, Milk, when you never learned to trust me?"

His eyes were showing a mist of agony, pleading, and desperation. But I shook my head. I don't want to believe him again because that's what he is good at—to act.

"And how could you think I can trust you when all you showed was the worst of you? Kaya huwag mo akong sisihin kung kahit na anong paliwanag mo, hindi na ako maniniwala pa sa'yo! Hindi ako magpapasalamat na kinupkop mo ang mga magulang ko dahil hindi mo mababago ang katotohanang itinago mo sila sa akin! Pati ang pananakit na dinulot mo sa buhay ko, ikaw ang sumira ng buhay ko, Lucian, ikaw!"

Dinuro-duro ko siya, at halos magtaas-baba ang dibdib ko dahil sa nagpuputok na galit na matagal ko nang kinikimkim sa kanya. Akala ko sasaktan niya ako, ngunit bigla na lang niya akong niyakap nang sobrang higpit. His arms were wrapped around my body, his embrace was suffocating me. I tried to push him, but he buried his face deep in the crook of my neck as he muttered whispers of longing and apologies.

"I-I'm so sorry, my Milk, I'm sorry. M-mahal kita, mahal na mahal kita... I never had the courage to tell that to you before, but that's what I truly feel for you... Forgive me, please, p-please. Hiyang-hiya ako sa mga pinaggagawa ko sa'yo, nagsisisi ako sa mga pagpapahirap ko sa'yo noon. Kung alam ko lang sa una na ikaw pala ang babaeng mamahalin ko, sana, sana hindi na kita pinahirapan pa. Sana hindi na ako nag higanti pa. Sana pinilit kona lang limutin ang galit k okay Hazelton. Sorry that it took me a while to realize that I fell for you. I love you, my wife, I hope you can forgive me..." His confession came out like a thin whisper, but my heart heard it loud. However, he is too late for him to say that. I no longer believe him. I will no longer trust him. Masyado nang puno ng sakit ang puso ko para maalalang minsan minahal ko siya.

"Bitawan mo ako! Hindi mo ako mahal dahil wala kang puso. Dahil kung meron, hindi mo na ako magagawang saktan ulit. You can not say I love you, while hurting me. Pain is not love, Lucian. Masyadong masakit ang ginawa mo sa akin, hindi k-kita kayang patawarin." I pushed him, but he held my hand and caressed the back of it.

"K-kaya kong magbago para sa'yo, just please come back to me." I shook my head, and tears fell from my eyes. "Gagawin ko ang lahat para sa'yo, Milk. Remember what I told you before? I am willing to do everything to keep you safe, kaya kong talikuran ang mundo ko para sa'yo."

"Ayoko na! Huwag na, tapusin na natin ito. Hindi basta-basta mabubura lahat ng sakit na dulot ng pananakit mo sa'kin! Hayaan mo na lang kami ni Milo."

"No! Mahal ko kayo ng anak ko, Milk. Mahal kita." He uttered completely, like the love he has for me is the only solution to everything. But it's not. In this kind of world, pain is heavier than love, and it takes years before we forgive them because there's no accurate time for us to heal the pain they caused in our wounded hearts. No love can erase it.