- super sad content
- if you are uncomfortable reading, you don't have to <3
- a long one
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I'm currently 2 1/2 months pregnant. Me and vinnie have never been happier, knowing we have a baby coming. It's what we've always wanted. A family.
present
"come on! We don't wanna be late!" I jumped up and down in excitement. "okay okay." He laughed. We couldn't wait to become parents. He loves going to the appointments with me, and loves looking at the ultrasounds. He even hangs them on our fridge.
He's gonna be a good dad.
we arrived at the doctors and sat in the waiting room. "are you excited?" I looked up at him. "of course.. are you?" i nodded and he kissed my forehead. eventually, they called us back. I sat in the chair laughing with vinnie as we impatiently waited for the doctor. "In 2 months what do you think we're gonna have?" I asked, resting my elbows on his thighs looking up at him.
"Im not telling you." He kissed my nose. The doctor came in. "Hi! How are you doing?" She asked. "good good! very excited." I admitted. She laughed. "I would be too." I laid back, lifting up my shirt, and she folded my tights. She put the gel on my stomach, and began looking. "Alright.. how far along are you..?" She furrowed her eyebrows.
I immediately grabbed onto vinnies hand. "Umm.. 2 1/2 months, it'll be 3 next week." She continued looking around. "Is everything okay..?" I began to worry. "im not seeing a heartbeat or a baby.." she said. I looked over at vinnie. "No.. are you sure? Maybe you're missing something." I began to panic. She moved the screen to show me.
"Your baby would be... here." She pointed to the middle. "But there's nothing.." she cleaned the gel off my stomach. "Whenever you're ready, you can go on out. No rush, take your time." She assured. I looked over at vinnie, who was holding back tears. "can we.." i tried not to cry. He nodded and we headed to the car. We sat in silence before he started the car.
I slowly ran my hand over my stomach, resting it on the middle. But i began to sob uncontrollably. I was glad it was dark outside. Vinnie managed to pull me over the console, and put me in his lap. My knees pressed against the door, the side of my head against his chest, my face now in my hands.
He sobbed with me. "I can't.." i couldn't even speak. "Shh.." he rubbed my back and waist. "Im sorry, vinnie.. I'm so so sorry." I continued to sob. "Baby, it's not your fault." He assured me. "Please don't blame yourself, okay?"
Knowing it was illegal, i remained in his lap as he reversed out of the spot, and we headed home. I went into shock. The tears stopped running down my face. I began to trace the tattoos on his arm, with heavy puffy eyes. "I love you, vinnie." I mumbled. "I love you, darling." He placed a kiss on top of my head. Eventually, we made it home.
He carried me inside, and set me down by the front door. When i walked in, it hit me all over again. It didn't feel real. It felt like a dream. I walked over to the fridge, grabbing the ultrasound picture. I looked up at him. Tears were already running down his face. I snaked my arms around his waist, and squeezed him. The light crying turned into sobbing for both of us.
This was hard. "I just wanna go to bed.." I mumbled through my tears. We needed to be there for each other, and I knew it was going to be difficult but we can get through it together. "Im gonna shower.." he said, kissing my head. I didn't even say anything. I just curled into the blankets staring at the wall. I was holding back tears.
He shut the bathroom door, starting the shower. I heard him slam his shirt on the ground, and aggressively place his hands on the counter. Quietly, I got out of bed, opening the door and hugging him from behind. Confusing me, he grabbed my waist, sitting me on the counter. He stood in between my legs, and I began to wipe his tears away.
